


Our place

by Malunai



Category: Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:15:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27102565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malunai/pseuds/Malunai
Summary: This story takes place immediately after the Battle of the Spire.Aloy still does not feel free, she feels that this is only the beginning of a long road and is going through a period of doubt. Who is she really? Once she has successfully restored GAIA, what will her life be like?How to project yourself into the future when you can't find your place?
Relationships: Aloy & Avad (Horizon: Zero Dawn), Aloy & Sylens (Horizon: Zero Dawn), Aloy & Talanah Khane Padish, Aloy & Teb (Horizon: Zero Dawn), Aloy/Erend (Horizon: Zero Dawn)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

The adrenaline rushed back down as her eyes stared aimlessly west. Cries of celebration came back to her, carried by the wind, from Meridian.

\- Aloy?

Her eyes lowered slowly to the Mesa. As the ramparts and the Temple of the Sun danced the inhabitants of Meridian exulting in joy, the Mesa was no more than a shadow of what it had been.  
Only the cries of pain and metallic squeaks were heard there. A few machines, lost, attacked on sight in the middle of the ruins.

\- Aloy!

She turned around, gasping for air. Erend and Varl watched her, eyebrows furrowed. They had been joined by Talanah, her usually impeccable ponytail now a tangled tuft.  
She realized that her companions seemed to be waiting for her. But what were they waiting for, she wondered.  
Varl took the first step.

\- I have to find Sona. We have to go back down.  
\- Koran and Jor were with her the last time I saw her, Erend said. Let's go to the stake, everyone is gathering there.  
  
Aloy nodded, and the small group began to turn back. Once the promontory left, she saw the lance of Sylens still planted in Hades. Her throat started to tighten, she swallowed hard.

\- You didn't leave me the biggest one, Talanah hissed beside her.

Aloy watched her, Talanah had a tight smile.

\- Well done, my Thrush.  
\- She saved us all, Varl said reproachfully. She is not your Thrush, she is the Chosen One.  
\- She wouldn't have done anything without us, Talanah scoffed. I trained her well, that's all.

Aloy recognized there the provocation of Talanah who remained true to herself. Varl's disgusted looks during all preparations for battle had deeply offended Talanah, a pure product of Meridian. He offered her on a plate, with a simple joke, an object of revenge.  
She heard the voices continue to heat up and Erend's laughter, soon followed by his appeals to sanity as Varl now found himself face to face with the Sunhawk.

\- You two stop, it's going too far, he tempered. We are expected downstairs. You haven't had enough war today?  
\- This woman provokes me all the time!  
\- You Noras ...  
\- STOP!

Erend just had to raise his voice to silence them all at once. He was opening his mouth again, finger pointing in the path, when his gaze fell on Aloy. She was frozen to the spear, closed to the bickering around her.

\- Aloy? Everything is fine ? He worried.

Her hunched shoulders didn't even lift when she finally turned to the rest of the small group. Her skin looked transparent under the red cuts. Her eyes seemed to want to pop out of their globes and tears were now streaming down her cheeks.  
He rushed over to her, grabbing her by the shoulders.

\- Aloy, speak!  
\- I ... I ...

The words were stuck in her throat. She raised her hands to his neck, desperately trying to make it clear. She was going to die there, she told herself. To die there, suffocated, to die like that, in front of them, without understanding anything.  
Erend understood quickly.

\- She is choking! He yelled.

She felt lifted off the ground as if she weighed nothing. Erend placed her against him and began to run along the rutted path that led down to the Mesa. She heard him scream that she needed a healer immediately, then the screams were replaced by the sound of her own heart that seemed to want to come out of her chest. Her eyelids soon became too heavy to carry and she stopped struggling. She would die, she was sure. Her whole life had been a struggle, and she was so tired. She couldn't fight anymore, so she closed her eyes. And it was silent and total darkness.

*  
* *

When she opened her eyes again, she was in a bright, sunny room. She blinked several times to accommodate them in the harsh light. As she sat up on an extraordinarily soft mattress, she wondered if she was finally dead.

_Is that it, after?_

But the sound of a door quickly brought her back to reality when she recognized her visitor.

\- Teb!  
\- Finally ! Teb exclaimed happily. You remained unconscious for two days, I was in despair ...  
\- Two days ... she breathed.  
\- We installed you in the palace, at the request of the King.

She looked around her. That answered the question she was asking herself. She was in the palace, hence the white walls edged with gold. But her attention was suddenly caught by something else.

\- Varl? And Sona? How is she ? And the Noras, are they ...

Teb burst out laughing. He raised his hands and pulled up a chair to sit beside her.

\- Everything is fine ! Varl and Sona suggested to the brave who wanted to leave immediately. The Mother's heart needs all possible hands to rebuild. However, they stayed here. Even though Sona insists on staying camped outside, south of the merchant camp, he added with a half-smile.  
\- That doesn't surprise me, Aloy sighed. And Varl?  
\- He camps with Sona and a few brave men left behind to take advantage of their status as Seekers. You won't believe it, but many almost enjoy their trip and the city.  
\- And you ?  
\- The King proposed to all foreigners who fought for Meridian to stay, if they so wish. At the moment there are very few empty homes, but in some time ...

He paused for a moment, seeming to search for his words.

\- I chose to stay, he said with a smile. There is a world beyond the heart of the Mother, as you said. I want to see this world, I want to help these people.  
\- This is ... great, Teb! Aloy exclaimed, surprised. But what are you doing then?  
\- I help in my own way. The fighting left many injured. One of their healers showed me how to sew up wounds. It was not difficult, finally, the skin is a kind of leather! He joked.  
\- I saw the clothes you make, they are beautiful. I'm sure you're very good at a healer too.  
\- Well...

He let his voice hang in the air and leaned over her slightly, reaching out his hand to the sheet that covered her. She frowned, questioned by his gesture, but nodded. He pulled the sheet up to her hip, where she saw a long scar that ran from her back to her navel.

\- This is my masterpiece, he said blankly.  
\- I didn't even know I had been injured! She exclaimed.  
\- Concentration at fight makes us forget everything. When you collapsed, Erend brought you to the hospital. But the King demanded that you be transferred here immediately. I was in the hospital, so I volunteered to treat you. It seemed to me ... a fair return of things.  
\- Teb ...  
\- I owe you my life. It only makes up for a little, he joked. Finally, since you've been here, I haven't left you. I cleaned your wounds, I sewed them up. I cleaned your armor, he said, pointing to it on a valet in the corner of the room.  
\- Was I seriously injured? I don't remember having pain ...  
\- Ultimately, no. It was...  
\- But then, why ... she cut him off.

The sound of a door made them jump. Teb stood up and in the same movement, replaced the sheet on Aloy. Erend stood on the threshold, embarrassed that he might have disturbed a moment of intimacy between the two.

\- Erend! Come in, said Aloy  
\- Glad to see you awake, he smiles, closing the door.  
\- Aloy, I'll leave you for a bit, Teb said, pulling away.

He greeted Erend as he left, leaving Aloy alone with him. He pulled the chair up and fell on it louder than Teb. He ran a hand through his mowhawk, hesitating for a few seconds to speak. Erend had always been a man of action, sometimes of speech, but near Aloy the words seemed stuck in his throat.

\- I'm fine, Aloy began, feeling his embarrassment.  
\- Wow. Straight to the point, as usual, he said with a smile.  
\- How's it going down there?  
\- Meridian will rise again. I should say, Meridian is still here, thanks to you. The fires are extinguished and the Mesa is almost completely clear. Rebuilding, well, it will take time, but we'll get there.

He sat up in his chair.

\- You scared us, I didn't think I'd find you awake yet. I came here mornings and evenings, and you always were asleep. Teb always told me to stay, but... you know, they need their Captain there! He joked. Well, I'm sorry I was unable to stay. I'm so happy you're finally with us, he said, relieved.   
\- You don't need to be sorry, Erend. I don't know what happened, Teb explained to me that you brought me here ... I have no memory, just a feeling ...  
\- You had a panic attack, Aloy, Erend cut her off.  
\- What?

He laughed and put a hand on her shoulder.

\- Aloy-in-spite-of-Noras, I inform you that your stress has reached a critical limit. You need some rest! Yes, yes, rest. His Luminence Avad has made Olin Delversson's apartment available to you for an indefinite period of time and it is my mission to take you there as soon as you are ready.  
\- A panic attack? She repeated dubiously.  
\- You couldn't breathe normally. You passed out. And frankly, you got me, you scared us a lot, he said to himself.  
\- Well, Teb confirmed me that I everything's ok now. He treated my little injuries and... Erend, I still have things to do. I can not stay !  
\- And I'm not asking you. Nobody demands it of you. But if you want to be able to continue your journey, your mission ... you have to take a few days off.

She sighed, letting her head fall back on the pillow. A few days off might not be such a bad idea. Her whole body ached, and she could have sworn her legs were way heavier than before. She could also take the opportunity to say goodbye to all those who had come to help her in the battle and whom she would surely never see again ... She thought back to the last updates of Elizabeth's diary, to this house that she wanted to reach. Was she able to reach it finally? She had to find it.

\- Very well, she mumbled.  
\- Great, Erend quipped. I'm going to go see Avad and sort this out, he added, standing up.  
\- Hold on ! Aloy called. How long am I going to have to stay here?  
\- Oh don't worry. I come back very quickly. I will never leave a pretty girl like you alone for too long, he joked.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Aloy was finally able to smell the fresh air again. Fresh ... or rather hot. While after the fighting the sky was loaded with heavy clouds obscuring the sun, today the sun was intense.

Avad had passed quickly to her room to check on her, smiling as much as he could. But she had noticed the dark circles under his eyes which did not conceal his concerns for the city which she had unfortunately contributed to setting fire and blood. The discussion had been swift and cordial, then Erend had arrived to tell the king and Aloy that everything was ready for his departure. She had received the news with relief, unwilling to remain a burden with Avad any longer and most of all keen to regain her freedom of movement.

Before leaving the palace, she heard Teb call her. They parted after a final check of her wounds and stitches, and when she swore they would meet again very soon.

A little lost and stunned by her sudden popularity, she followed Erend who had insisted on accompanying her to the apartment. All along the way, the inhabitants whispered as she passed or tried to touch her, as one worshiped a goddess. Erend anticipated her discomfort and pushed aside anyone who dared to approach her too closely. She felt grateful for his thoughtfulness.

Arriving towards the apartment, she could see that the center of Meridian had been spared by the fighting. The destruction and fires had affected the Mesa and the West Gate as well as the nearby dwellings, but the East and the Center were intact. An unusual effervescence was at work in the city. The merchants, seeming hermetic to what had happened, continued their commerce in the streets, like the cookers. At the same time, we could see the back and forth movements of the Carja Guard and the Vanguard.

Arriving at the now repaired door, she stopped.

\- The Vanguardmen all seem very busy ...  
\- Indeed. We've had a few Eclipse attacks over the past few hours. They seem to want to take advantage of our weakness to gain the upper hand.  
\- An injured animal is easier to reach.  
\- And more dangerous. I lost ... He recovered. The Vanguard has lost several of its men, valuable men. We are angry. We will be merciless with them.

Aloy sighed.

\- Hey! Erend said as he walked down the front steps towards her. I know what you are thinking. It's not your fault. Not at all.

She didn't answer, rejecting the tears that threatened to break through. Erend motioned for her to go up the stairs and he followed suit. Aloy put her bag down at the entrance to the apartment, seeming to rediscover the place in a new light. Erend approached her.

\- Um ... Avad asked to, uh, furnish the place for you.

She turned her head towards him, eyebrow raised.

\- I told him it might not be worth it ...  
\- Oh yes ? She exclaimed ironically.

Around her, the red hangings had been changed to midnight blue hangings embroidered with gold and silver. Walking slowly around the apartment, she noticed a door she had never pushed before and decided to go inside. Behind was a lacquered wooden bathtub and a white stone tub, which seemed to be directly connected to one of the city's multiple aqueducts. Turning back, she walked back through the main room before pushing open a new door, under Erend's curious eyes.

The new room consisted of a wooden table and two chairs, as well as a piece of furniture she did not see the need for. Having sensed her perplexity, Erend in turn entered the small room.

\- A cook, Aloy.  
\- Yes, I can see it, she said half-heartedly.  
\- Ah yes ? He smiles. You seem dubious to me in front of this strange instrument.  
\- I know what a cook is, Erend.  
\- Very well ! He laughs, raising his hands in redemption.

Aloy dropped her hands and her shoulders slumped.

\- Well, I knew it existed, but I never saw or used it ... she began, softened.

Erend's laughter filled the room and she slapped him on the shoulder that didn't calm him down.

\- Aloy ... Aloy the mighty warrior, the hunter, the tamer of machines! Aloy ... never cooked! He mocked.  
\- I cooked, outside! Rost ... the one who raised me always showed me how to do it!

But Erend's laughter didn't stop and she let him calm down, sullenly. Still, this teasing cheered her up a bit and she found herself smiling too.

\- Since this is so, you just have to show me! She challenged him.  
\- With pleasure ! Erend exclaimed.

He adjusted his armor, and as they walked back to the main room, he stopped.

\- I have to go to work. I can show you how to use it tonight, if you want?

He seemed to hesitate, then recovered.

\- Well, if you don't feel too tired.  
\- No ! She exclaimed. I have all day to ... rest, she finished, lowering her voice.

Erend watched her. She looked lost in the middle of this dwelling which did not resemble her. He felt that she didn't want to stay there, and yet something was holding her back. He felt her discomfort and wished he could help her. She reminded him of what he still felt sometimes here in Meridian. He didn't like the Carja's overly complicated manners, the disdain they sometimes felt for strangers. The heat and the crowd. The too sophisticated outfits and the strong makeup of women ... but his duty was there.

He had always felt this, but that feeling had been exacerbated when Ersa died. He had to take over his sister's duties, who had told him to grow up quickly. He knew full well what that involved. He didn't want to become a Captain, yet he had. Every day he tried to do what was expected of him, and every day that feeling weighed on his shoulders like lead.

He couldn't have said how it was possible, but he knew how Aloy was feeling. And he would have done anything to help her carry this burden as she had helped him when he needed it. How she had helped him straighten his head when it was impossible to mourn.

\- You know, the guys would need a helping hand in the mesa to rehabilitate the fields. The pipes are destroyed or blocked, and a large part of the crops has already been destroyed.

He saw her face light up, then his gaze moved down her side to the stitches.

\- In... in fact, it would be mainly for you to coordinate the teams. I know they would all be happy to have your support.  
\- I'll join them as soon as I wash up, she said, nodding.  
  
He indicated the meeting point to her, making a mental note to extricate himself from his obligations at the palace as quickly as possible to be able to join them. He didn't like having paperwork to do while his teams were busy on the pitch. Most importantly, he wanted the chance to spend some more time with her.

He took his leave as Aloy began to remove her armor. It was high time he left, he told himself on the way to the palace, his cheeks inexplicably flushed.

For her part, Aloy struggled for a few minutes with the strange lever sticking out of the wall in the bathroom. She eventually managed to make a trickle of water flow which came to flow into the wooden tub. She soaked in it quickly, shivering from the heat shock, then rubbed vigorously with herbs she kept in her purse. Grinning where her wounds were still fresh, she bustled about getting ready as quickly as possible, eager to finally feel useful.

She hesitated when it was time to get dressed. Should she put on her armor? Finally, in front of the dirty and smelly pieces, she opted for a simple tunic and clean leggings. However, she kept her belt and her bow. She felt naked without it.

Less than an hour later, she joined the group of men already at work near a damaged aqueduct. They greeted her enthusiastically and she smiled back at them.

\- It is an honor to have you by our side, Ma'am, said a tall Oseram with a long white beard.  
\- Aloy. No Madame.  
\- As you wish, Aloy! The man exclaimed. Let me introduce myself: Kando. And this is Eorn, Bran and Gorn. The rest of the team is at work a little further west.  
\- Perfect. What can I help you with ? Aloy asked.

The four men looked at each other and then Kando spoke again, cautiously.

\- The Captain told us to be at your disposal ...  
\- The Captain is not here! Avoided Aloy. I don't know the Mesa as well as you do, I'm not sure I'll be making the best decisions. Let's say we decide together, ok?

Kando smiled and the three men nodded. Soon the five of them got down to work, Aloy a little slower and less strong than usual, the points pulling her skin. No one made any remarks to her, however, the work going well. Soon the aqueduct was cleared and water began to flow again into the nearby irrigation canals.

The farmers were elated with joy and relief, eventually their harvest had a chance to be saved. Aloy lifted her head to take a deep breath and savor the moment when the task is done. The sun was very high in the sky and she blinked to get a good look at the man waving to her.

\- Gorn, is that it?  
\- Yes Mada ... Aloy, he recovered. We're going to take a break, would you like to join us for lunch?  
\- Yes, thanks, she said, feeling her stomach growling.

She followed him to a basic tent housing several trays. Fruits had been placed on it, along with what appeared to be honey bread.  
As she thanked Gorn for the bread and fruit he handed her, footsteps were heard and the men stood up. The clatter of armor and sure gait was recognized by all before it appeared in under the canvas of the tent.

\- Captain, Kando greeted him.

Erend greeted them all quickly and warmly, then inquired about the progress of the work in progress. He was delighted to learn that they were going well, and that soon most of the Mesa could sow again. Two men from the Vanguard accompanied Erend with a small wagon containing a barrel, and he offered them beer for refreshment. This was welcome and they did not need to be asked to drink.

Aloy remained silent in a corner of the tent, observing the resilience of these men. The battle had been hard, all had bruises and cuts, marks from the fight. But today the mood was good, as if all this was already behind them; a sensation she couldn't quite reach on her end.

\- How do you feel ?

She looked up at Erend.

\- Well. I am happy to be here, your men are very efficient and pleasant. I feel useful, at least a little!  
\- Efficient and pleasant, that is the definition of an Oseram! Joked Erend. Although you might add noisy ...

He ran his hand through his crest, then resumed more seriously.

\- I'm going to the Spire. There is commotion, the place has almost become a sanctuary! Naman devotes atonement celebrations to it, but it doesn't only attract well-meaning people.  
\- What? She exclaimed.  
\- Illuminated people and maybe some Eclipse supporters. The other day there were tensions, and we take turns, the Carja Guard and the Vanguard, to protect the priests.

Aloy's cheeks were turning red and she stood up.

\- How can they stand there and call on I don't know what god! Hades was not a god, you saw it like me. Continuing to do this will only fuel tensions.  
\- To tell the truth, I believe you, but I saw nothing except a red light turn blue and this wave that threw us all to the ground ...

She sighed.

\- Admit that for most of us all this remains very obscure. For all of us in fact.  
\- But I...  
\- I'm not blaming you Aloy. But don't condemn too quickly on your side those who need an explanation, whatever it may be.

She was enraged to hear him, to know that he was probably right. Of all the people she knew, only Sylens could figure out what had happened, and she. Even though she wasn't sure she understood everything elsewhere. She continued fuming for a few moments and Erend grabbed her arm, ready to speak to her, when a shadow crept along the tent canvas and then silently entered. The soldiers all greeted him, and with a nod, the newcomer ordered the men out of the tent.  
Only Erend remained with Aloy.

\- Marad? A problem ?

Erend was surprised at the adviser's coming, probably knowing he was very busy in the palace, and using messengers for orders or information to pass. Moreover, when they had crossed paths this morning at his office, Marad had not told him of a planned trip.

\- I came to meet Aloy.

He turned to her then stared at Erend. The latter understood and left the tent, not without reluctance. Aloy followed him for a moment, before returning to Marad.

\- I am here Marad, speak.  
\- Straight as ever, he smiled. His Luminance invites you to come and meet him at the Palace this evening. He wishes to be able to share his meal with the savior of Meridian to thank her as it should be.  
\- This evening, I...

She bit her lip. What to say ? She certainly didn't have much experience in human relations, but Avad's words during Dervhal's attack had left little doubt as to the king's intentions towards her. Even if he had apologized, now displaying a complicity that some might interpret as more than friendship with another man would be frowned upon. She wanted all the more to avoid making Erend feel uncomfortable with her king, he who already had to face the teasing of his soldiers as she had seen before the battle.

\- I thought I was resting tonight, was all she could think of to say.  
\- It's natural, Marad replied with a concern face. Avad will fully understand this.  
\- Thank you, she said relieved.  
\- I will tell him that you will join him tomorrow morning to share his first meal.

He greeted her respectfully then took his leave, leaving Aloy speechless. Putting it that way, she had no choice but to agree, she thought.

Erend watched as Marad walked away, wondering what could possibly lead the all-precious adviser to venture into the lower Mesa. It could only be a special request from Avad, and he began to consider these possible requests. He had seen Avad's gaze fall on Aloy the first time he had met her, he had seen his despair when they had met before the battle of the arrow. True, Avad feared for Meridian then. But not only.  
Erend scowled. Avad might well want to talk about strategy with Aloy, more likely the future. A common future?

He kicked a pebble and sent it flying a little further. He didn't realize he was stomping in place, lost in thought.

After all, why was it bothering him? He looked up as this question formed in his head to see Aloy emerge from the tent. The high sun lit up her hair like a blazing fire that lamented its long flames towards the ground. The paleness of her skin in the sun made the forest green of her eyes stand out a little more. As her slender figure moved towards him, he watched the graceful curves of her undulating body.

That's why. She was not only beautiful, she was powerful, intelligent ... and she attracted the sun. The strength of this star seemed to inhabit her. That's why it bothered him that Avad coveted her. And at the same time, it seemed so logical that the Sun King wanted to get closer to this living star.

\- Erend?  
\- Hmm?  
\- You're staring.  
\- Absolutely. Let's go ? He asked without lingering.

Aloy stared at him for a moment, before smiling and nodding. This flirtatious game between Erend had always been present, and she wouldn't pick up more today than before. She followed in her companion's footsteps towards the Arrow.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Hope you have enjoyed this new part, I've warned, it's a slow-burn fiction. But I took so much pleasure to imagine them.  
> Don't forget to comment, thank you for reading, and see you soon ;-)


	3. Chapter 3

Erend found himself for the first time in his life stuck in front of his clothes trunk. White mind and the vague impression of being a deep idiot. Of course, he was going to eat with Aloy. And sure, she wouldn't find his change of outfit abnormal, given their work in the heat of Meridian today. In this context, keeping a minimum of hygiene was not a luxury, but respect for its neighbors.

On the other hand, would she be suspicious of the fact that he put on more fitting clothes? It wasn't like he never put, no no, but never in front of Aloy. Thinking about it, he couldn't help but smile nervously. He had never met Aloy other than on duty or on a mission. Normal then.

He cursed and slammed the trunk shut before pacing his room. It was ridiculous. He was not going on a date! He was going to cook, share a meal with a friend. Yes, a friend, he convinced himself.

Annoyed and anxious, he rubbed his face before returning to the trunk and opening it more gently. Taking a sudden inspiration, he grabbed a white linen tunic laced with leather at the neckline and a pair of clean brown breeches. Simple and effective, a perfectly appropriate outfit, he said to himself as he put it on.

He took a few more minutes in his bath room to shave clean, reshaping his mohawk and cheeks, observing himself in the small mirror.  
Before leaving his house, he put on his yellow scarf and put on a leather jacket, then paused for a moment. He saw his warhammer resting on the hooks next to his door. Should he take it? Like any soldier at this time, he knew he could be mobilized at any time, even more so from his position as Captain.

But he shook his head. He really didn't want to think about that tonight. Tonight, normalcy was to set in, at least for a few hours. For him, for her. They had deserved it, she certainly more than any other. And he was going to give her those few hours of normalcy. He closed the door, slamming it behind him.

Aloy gladly welcomed this "normality" that she had not experienced with Rost, despite all the his efforts to allow her to grow safely. Erend had arrived with a basket full of goose meat and vegetables from the market. Used to hunting for food or to being served in taverns, she watched curiously as Erend put himself in the kitchen, wielding the knife so precisely when his hands were so large.

He showed her as seriously as possible how to use the stove. No need to look for wood every day to light it, one of the drawers was used to store it. Aloy marveled at such luxury, such freedom. To cook for fun. Without having to hunt or find wood every day. It made you dizzy.

\- Hmmm ... she can't help but let out.

Erend looked up at her, puzzled as he pricked his vegetables. Sitting face to face on the little table, lit by candles, he stared at her. Pure pleasure. This is what her features and her closed eyes at that moment expressed. And it warmed his heart.

He smiled and then resumed poking into his plate.

\- How do you do this ?  
\- Cooking is quite an art.  
\- There's a taste I don't recognize, she said, frowning and looking up.  
\- It's the spices, I don't think you've tasted it before.  
\- Sometimes... she frowned. Rost sometimes added herbs just for taste ... when the meat was too strong.  
\- The spices of Meridian. The Carjas are the best for that. Some of their merchants bring it back from the east.

She nodded. Indeed, she had never tasted anything like it. This dish was tasty, hot, tangy and sweet all at the same time. And that indefinable taste. It would remain for her, the "Erend" taste.

\- Thanks, Erend.  
\- You've never seen a stove, so ... he said with a satisfied, mocking smile.  
\- No never ! She replied, smiling in turn.

They let a moment pass.

\- What's your house like ? Erend finally asked, eager to know more about her.

He suddenly saw her tense up, bend down and close her eyes. When she opened them again, he saw that they were shiny, as if threatening to cry. Dumbass ! He said to him.

\- Sorry, I didn't mean ...  
\- No, no. You're the first to ask me, I don't think about it often, that's all.

She sniffled, then swallowed, and finally looked up at him.

\- Rost had a house. I believe long before I was entrusted to him.  
\- Entrusted?  
\- Rost was not really my father. It was Teersa who entrusted me to him when the High Matriarchs found me. I ... I have no other father than him. Finally ... she stopped and sighed. Are you sure you want to hear this story? It's long and complicated.

He slid his hand over the tackle until he rested it next to Aloy's. Their fingers side by side, they looked at each other for a moment, he attentive, she reserved.

\- I think I would love to hear this story. Besides, we have time. No more killers to track or machines to master for now, he said, referring to their goodbye that day on a balcony of the palace.

She grabs the reference and smiles weakly at him. If he knew ...

\- So...

And she began to speak. From her childhood, incorporating what she had learned later. His birth, his goal. The loss of Rost, his impossible mourning. Her loneliness, her desire to be useful. This feeling of never being in her place, wherever she is.

\- Rost ... this man is grateful to me, Aloy. He allowed you to live, to become who you are. You will always miss him, but he did it all for love.  
\- Love! She sighed. He never said his emotions. He always brought it down to what should or should not be done. For everyone's benefit, not just mine. His last lesson ... It was before the Outbreak. I didn't understand right away, even though I thought so. But then I understood. He trained me to serve the world. The Noras, and not just them. I don't know if he even had a vague idea of what I really was, or how he might have perceived it ... but he taught me that. And he suffered it himself. If I had been less selfish, and he less altruistic ...

She closes her eyes to fend off the tears that were now flowing alone.

\- So what are you, Aloy?  
\- I am a tool.  
\- A tool ?  
\- You don't understand Erend.  
\- So tell me ! He insisted.

She shook her head. Talking was not her strong suit, and she had never talked so long about herself. She was exhausted, mentally and physically exhausted. She didn't want to talk anymore.

\- Erend, please ...  
\- I'm here, Aloy.  
\- I know. That's enough for me for now.  
\- I …  
\- I've never had a friend before. I thank you for being here.

He received her words like a slap that immediately made him touch the ground. A friend. Yes, a friend. That was how she saw him, and he had to respect it. Her friendship was already more to him than he could have hoped for. She had confided in him, and it was so much confidence. He, the drunkard who had become a Captain, had the confidence of the sun-girl.

\- Please, it's the least I can do. You helped me find my sister, you saved Meridian. You saved us all. I am honored to be ... your friend.

She stood up and walked over to him, pausing next to him. He got up too, unsure of what to do next. And she unseated him. She came close to him, wrapping her arms around him. He did not know what to do at the time, then the surprise passed, he wrapped his arms around her in turn. She was so ... small. Without her armor and weapons, so fragile against him. They stayed for a while enjoying their warmth and shared intimacy. Ours, Erend said to himself, smiling.

The next morning, Aloy woke to sleep and cry. Eyes red, she went down to the kitchen to take advantage of her new discovery and to heat some water. There was some tea left in Olin's cupboards, and she would need it before she met Avad. The sun was barely beginning to filter through the drapes drawn in front of the windows, and she hurried out of the house.

The sooner it was over, the sooner she could get back to helping where it was needed. In addition, she was to meet Teb today to take care of her sutures. It would also be an opportunity to find her second friend. Without ever having spoken much, Teb was a point of reference for her. The only one, along with Teersa whom she considered more like family, whom she had known for a long time, and the first friendly Nora face she had seen in her life.

She quickly made it to the bridge leading to the palace, and as the guards sounded their spears on the wood as she passed, she began to wonder if Avad still intended to speak about this unfortunate moment after the clash with Dervhal. Deep down, she didn't blame him. She imagined he was lost, with no Ersa or anyone to guide him other than a zealous advisor. Avad no longer had a father, no mother. No one to listen to him like a friend ... or a lover. He had certainly sought it out as soon as possible, for the exercise of power was lonely.

And as she climbed the resplendent steps, she found herself finding compassion for this king. Finally, the day did not start so badly. Maybe she could make a new friend today.

It was Avad himself who came to greet her, believing that he had stayed at the top of the steps to be sure to meet her when he arrived.

\- Aloy! What a pleasure to see you again, in better shape and already at work, I was told. Were you able to rest as you wished?  
\- Yes, thanks Avad. I'm happy to see you again too.

She noticed that the King's dark circles had not diminished on his side, and glancing behind him, she saw a mountain of scrolls, some of which had fallen to the floor from a table. Avad was at work, he would have stop for her, that's all.

\- I had the first meal served on a terrace to the east. We will be able to take advantage of the first rays. Are you hungry ? He asked her, guiding her to the terrace in question.  
\- I...  
\- There is a bit of everything, I don't know your tastes!  
\- Avad, I'm sorry. I am not very hungry.

He looked disappointed for a moment, but pulled himself together. They had arrived, and Aloy saw that the table had been set on a golden low table, surrounded by a multitude of cushions with shimmering fabrics. She sat down and looked at Avad who was not sitting down.

\- Avad, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I really appreciate your hospitality.

He smiled and sat down, enigmatic. She started to feel uncomfortable.

\- Avad?  
\- I'm sorry, Aloy. I don't blame you for not being hungry. I myself have had a knot in my stomach since the battle.  
\- Can I help you ... with something?

He laughs softly.

\- Aloy, you really are an exceptional woman! Did you save us all twice and still want to help me? No, it is I who owe you. For ever.  
\- None of that between us. I couldn't have done anything without your soldiers.  
\- They all went to fight because it was you, Aloy. I have never succeeded where you have been able to unite so many peoples and personalities. Everyone is singing praise to you today, everywhere in this world.

He paused, then resumed, his eyes turned to the jungle.

\- I give thanks every hour of the day to the Sun for having met you. That your footsteps have led you here, that I lived to see you. You succeeded where I failed. My people are pacified, and I think that in front of us, despite the challenges that lie ahead, the future will be bright.  
\- Avad, it's too much.  
\- No ! That's right, Aloy.

A maid came to serve them tea, and Avad thanked her warmly. He was a good king, respectful of all, Aloy thought to herself.

\- After my father fell, a week of celebrations took place in the city. Which brings me to the reason for your coming here. I intend to do the same for this victory. Your victory, Aloy.  
\- No ! She said, inelegantly spitting her tea into her cup.  
\- What?  
\- Avad, please. I don't like being put forward like that. It would truly be ... torture for me.  
\- Aloy! The people fought, all the people and the clans are there for you. They have finally succeeded in working together, in peace! It's unexpected, a way to turn this nightmare into something bigger, useful ...

She raised her hands to stop him. She got up, then came to lean on the railing of the terrace overlooking the palm trees as far as the eye could see. Letting her gaze wander along the river, her eyes met the places where the battle had devastated everything. The charred trees were nothing more than stumps of ash, the plowed ground seemed like a large gaping scar.

\- Aloy, I… please, Avad said, joining her. They all need this. I need it to.  
\- I won't have the strength, Avad. And then ... I don't have to be there, right?  
\- Without you, it wouldn't mean anything.

She sighed. Then she agreed to look Avad in the eye.

\- Not a week.  
\- Three days ?  
\- One.  
\- Two. One day and one night and then the next day for everyone to recover.

She smiles at him. Who could well negotiate with His Luminence? And above all, from whom would Avad accept a negotiation?  
Avad smiled back at her with an intensity she couldn't predict. 

\- Thanks, thanks Aloy. You honor me, thanks to you, peace will be sealed ... well, it will be a very good start.  
\- When do you expect this?  
\- As quickly as possible, the allies are eager to return to their lands, especially the Nora. I'll talk to Marad to prepare for this.

He pulled back, suddenly seeming to be looking for what to say.

\- Anything else, Avad?  
\- Yes ... and I'll need us to sit down to talk to you about this.

Aloy suddenly felt her stomach turn. Despite everything, she resumed her place and Avad settled in front of her. He took his tea, drank it in one gulp, then put it down a little too hard for the table. Some fruit fell from the tray.

\- Aloy ... like I told you, you are an exceptional woman. The savior of Meridian, the savior of our world, for all to see.  
\- Oh please Avad, don't do it again!  
\- No, you are not. What I'm trying to tell you ... even if I know it well, very awkwardly, is that ... not in my eyes.

She frowned.

\- What?  
\- You are not that one in my eyes. Finally, yes, but not only. I ... I see you differently, Aloy. I tried to change that, to see you as just Aloy-savior-of-Meridian. But you are more to me.  
\- Avad ... she sighed.  
\- I'm not going to tell you again what I said to you so awkwardly once. But know that my feelings only got stronger. I was so scared during the battle ... I disgusted myself.

She let him continue, not knowing what to say.

\- I was afraid for Meridian, of course. But I was also afraid ... for you. While I am king, Aloy! I was not allowed to be selfish at that time.  
\- But...  
\- I beg you, let me finish. I'm not asking you for anything today or tomorrow, but I just want you to try and get to know me. Not like Avad the Sun King, but like me. Just like I see who you are.  
\- We've talked about this before, Avad. I'm not Ersa, don't confuse things.  
\- I know you are not her. You have a lot in common, but you are so different. If we got off to a good start, I mean, like we were just ... you and me?  
\- It's hard for a king to pretend he's not, Aloy objected.  
\- Let the time do things. I just want to know ... are you planning to return to the Sacred Lands?  
\- No.

He sighed in relief.

\- At least not immediately. Avad, there is no way I can stay ... stuck here.  
\- I'm not asking you. I just want to know that there is a chance, a hope that we get to know each other.  
\- I am staying to help Meridian recover from the battle. Then I should go back to the Noras. I have ... places to visit.  
\- And I understand it.

She sighed in turn. Finally, they had had this discussion again. She decided to change the subject.

\- I heard about the incidents at The Spira, Avad. Do you intend to remedy it?

Avad frowns. Resuming an upright seat on the cushion, he thought for a moment.

\- The subject is delicate. You have to understand what people are feeling. Brushing aside their beliefs out of hand would not be the most effective way to continue to unify this land.  
\- But it attracts fanatics!  
\- We are taking the right steps.  
\- At the risk of seeing other fights break out?

They looked at each other. Marad chooses the moment to step onto the terrace.

\- Your highness, he said, bowing.  
\- What is it Marad? Avad asked, slightly annoyed.  
\- The Captain of the Vanguard is there for his report.

Avad seemed to realize the time passed.

\- Yes ... Bring Erend into the Great Hall. I am coming right now.  
\- Heard. Aloy, he said, bowing again.  
\- Hello Marad.

They watched Marad walk away, then each stood up.

\- I really enjoy talking with you, as always. I don't think anyone, even Marad, is so ... straightforward, he said with a smile. With me, at least.  
\- I just do what you want, Avad. See you as you are. If it's equal to equal that you want to be treated ...  
\- It suits me perfectly. I am happy to see that you are listening to me.  
\- Don't get too much of a guess though, Avad.

He moved closer to her, and she didn't back down. He took her hands and bowed to kiss them, which made her uncomfortable. She quickly removed them from his. A noise made them turn their heads. Marad led Erend to the Great Hall, a path that led them both not far from the terrace. As Erend seemed lost in thought, the click of his armor was heard. And, as if he sensed an unexpected presence, he turned his head towards them. Avad, Erend and Aloy looked at each other.

For a fraction of a second she saw an expression cross her face that she would never forget. Disappointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Erend was cooking, I was listening the "City on the Mesa song". Calm, type of song you'll expect to listen in a dayly routine scene.   
> I imagine so well erend cooking for Aloy, so proud to be a part of her new "normality", part of her intimacy.
> 
> It's a chapter I've taken much pleasure to write, hope you'll like as well to read it.


	4. Chapter 4

She left the palace upset. Upset about this situation. Avad had had this discussion again, which she would have preferred to keep as a distant memory. But all this was present. And she hadn't had the courage to simply refuse to play his game.  
But even more, she was annoyed by Erend's reaction. After her awkward moment, she rebelled internally. Why would it be up to her to be embarrassed? She hadn't made any mistakes, no missteps.

Despite herself, her footsteps led her to the heart of Meridian, to the temple of the Sun. The gaping hole had not yet been filled. She sat there, letting her legs sway in the air and thinking back to the events that had brought her here, at this very moment.

***

Erend waited anxiously ... _or anger?_ the return of the king to the audience hall. His fears were well founded, Avad didn't seem to have taken the thought of keeping Aloy by his side out of his mind. Yet beyond the diplomatic hopes of such a union, Erend thought of Aloy on a throne alongside Avad, and the image struck him as highly improbable. No, Aloy was not someone who could be reduced to any membership whatever. It was a living and free flame, not tame, not reduced to a hearth.

Avad walked towards his throne but passed it to come and hug Erend, like every morning. He and Erend's relationship was not the usual relationship between a king and his captain, not when they were both together. At least Avad liked making Erend feel it and he meant it. But Erend remained the captain of the Sun King's personal guard, and whatever friendships they developed during the war against Jiran, Erend could never ignore his role towards Avad. His place was behind when Avad was in front, on the ground when Avad rose. A raw and imposing force, but calm, there to remind everyone that the King was protected.

\- My friend ! Forgive me for being late, I got distracted.  
\- My King ... said Erend, pulling back slightly to bow.  
\- Let's forget about the formalities for this morning, Erend.

Avad gestured to indicate to Erend to follow him into a small adjoining room where a desk awaited them along with two ornately decorated wooden chairs.  
Erend, who was already used to this ritual, unfolded the cards he had brought and wedged the corners with the paperweights. He started his report without further delay. Never before had Meridian been faced with such a challenge: the threats were everywhere, diffuse and multiple. Hunger, especially since the trade routes with the Nora were cut off, the latter having nothing more to offer. War, the Shadow Carjas still steeped in years of propaganda and cornered like animals trapped in a trap. Eclipse also remained a threat. They had not all been killed during the battle, and while a few fighters were imprisoned, they were not speaking now. Impossible to know their places of retreat. It was a task for Marad, which would undoubtedly have repercussions for the entire command soon.

Avad listened to him without interrupting, or else, to ask for an important clarification. Erend admired the great intelligence of this man, who had not been trained to be a king, unlike his brother. And who, however, governed so well.

In the end, as Erend rolled up his cards, Avad stood up and began to walk towards the throne room.

\- Meet me on the balcony, please. There is one private thing I would like to talk to you about.

Erend felt his hands become sweaty. He rolled up the documents while trembling slightly, dreading what his friend, and above all, his King, might say to him. Leaving the papers on the desk, he adjusted the plate on his stomach mechanically, as if ready to go into battle.

Avad was waiting for him, his hands resting on the balustrade, staring at a point in the distance. Erend came over to lean beside him and tried to make out what Avad was staring at.

\- I know you saw us talking, Erend. I didn't expect to bring it up with you so quickly, but… He took a breath. Where to start ?  
\- Avad, I don't ...  
\- It's important, Erend. I need to explain it to you.

Erend then nodded, preparing to listen to whatever Avad had to say, however hard it was on him. He knew how to take the blows, he will take this one like all the others.

\- When I saw Ersa for the first time, in her cell, she spat in my face. My father wanted me to see the prisoners, to face them. He thought that I was not as strong as my brother, that it would make me stronger. And so when I saw her, yes, it made me stronger. She was full of rage, courage, strength. She faced me, I don't know why, I stood up to her. So she spoke to me, I came back, we spoke again. She convinced me that I was not what everyone thought of me. She helped me, while she was a prisoner of my father. And then one day, she gave birth to this crazy idea, that we could one day unite several clans in a single interest: that of the peoples, whoever they are.

Erend smiled, he saw again the ardor with which Ersa knew how to deliver her speeches, the hope and the desire which she instilled in all around her.

\- When we entered Meridian that day ... when I faced my father ... I was paralyzed. I had, but I felt like I had lost a part of myself. She who was then a mercenary I was paying became my friend, really. Besides, I couldn't say when exactly that changed.

Erend stiffened slightly. He had guessed that part of the story, but he didn't necessarily want to hear it.

\- She became my confidante, Erend. I loved her, I wish she was by my side forever. She never wanted that to be known. The only favor she gave me was to stay in the palace, so we could see each other without it being seen. She knew that the nobles would never accept Oseram as queen consort. Still, I was ready to name her, but for us, for me, she always refused. And deep down, I knew she was right. When she's ... I hated myself. I wasted all that time with her. I could have lived every second with her, but I wasted them. And she was no longer there.  
\- Avad, I don't believe that ... Well, I ...

Erend's voice lost in his throat, unable to come out. Avad looked up at him, and nodded. He then resumed.

\- When I met Aloy, I was a shadow of myself. I had just heard of Ersa's death, then she was still alive, and her death again. I believed that the Sun tormented me for my sins, I went mad with pain. When I closed my eyes, I saw Ersa again, and when I heard Aloy speak, I saw her come back to life. I needed her so much! They are both so strong, if ... I think I projected myself with Aloy as if to keep Ersa alive by my side. But I was wrong. Aloy told me bluntly. She was right.

Another sigh, then he swallowed, turned to Erend.

\- Weeks passed, then months. I thought back to our words, to her face. I finally saw the differences between them. I cherish Ersa in my heart, and she still is. But I know today that a new flame burns, fiery, for Aloy. I was terrified when I saw her throw herself from the Temple of the Sun to face Helis. I knew she could defeat him, and yet ... I would have given anything to face him in her place but my duty ... Well, what I mean is that I don't want to no longer make the same mistakes Erend. I love her, I don't want to risk losing her anymore without telling her. And today, I am extremely fortunate that the politics to which my life is dedicated meets my personal interests. This is my moment, Erend. I wouldn't have this chance twice. I lost Ersa, the Sun blessed me by making me discover love once again. I wanted ... you to know that I loved your sister from the bottom of my being, and that I have always seen you as my brother. It will not change. I am not replacing Ersa.

When Avad finally fell silent, a strange silence settled between them. Erend had always known, deep down. Ersa had never said anything to him, nor did they discuss feelings together. Not that he broached the issue of feelings with Avad more. This statement was even more surprising today, and he felt all the more uncomfortable because he felt guilty. For not having felt all this when Ersa shared her life; of having contributed to letting them live in the shadows this love that they should have lived in full light.

And also now he felt guilty about his own feelings. Of this fantasy he imagined alongside Aloy even as Avad told him about his desires. Would he dare to be as honest as his friend and king was?

_I'm so sorry Avad. If I had known all this, I would have come to talk to you. I would have listened to you, I would have spoken to Ersa ... And today, I am mortified at the thought of coveting the same thing as you._

But the words got stuck in Erend's throat, and Avad hugged him. Erend responded to that surprised embrace, then they pulled away, and after a few seconds he greeted Avad and left for the siege of the Vanguard. Descending the steps of the palace, he found himself stopping for a moment on the balcony where he had left Aloy a few weeks before. Shaking his head, he resumed his walk.

***

When she decided she would bring up the subject with Erend later, Aloy's footsteps guided her to the hunters' lodge. It was almost empty when she entered, and she went straight upstairs to look for Talanah. She found her with relief, busy writing a report. As she approached, Aloy observed pink patches on her tanned skin, where the metal scorch of the corrupted machines she confronted had literally eaten away at her skin. The skin was glistening, both from the ooze and from the ointments put on to protect it. Her heart sank but she didn't have time to think about it anymore as Talanah, hearing her approach, turned around.

\- Aloy! The Thrush returns to the nest!  
\- Sunhawk, greeted her with a smile, Aloy.  
\- I learned that you are doing better. I wanted to come see you, but ...

She pointed to the scrolls unrolled in front of her.

\- Counsellors are asking for a report on all the machines that hunters have come across in recent months. Detailed, of course. And it comes back to me.

She sighed.

\- Not that I refuse to do it ... But I'd rather be outside, helping my hunters.  
\- Why, where did they all go elsewhere?  
\- We lost four hunters in the attack. The others are still at the front. I don't know what you did up there. But if the machines of the old and the corrupt have fallen, the others ... they are still just as aggressive, even more.  
\- I haven't heard of that, said Aloy, frowning.  
\- Ah yes ? Who have you been talking to lately? Talanah asked, smirking.

Aloy fell silent. Talanah continued, unrolling a card in front of her to show it.

\- Here and here Ravagers have been reported. Usually they are not so close to the villages. And also here, three Thunderjaw.  
\- What is this city ?  
\- Redsun. It was a garrison, until it fell several times several generations ago. It was invaded then taken again then invaded again ... The soldiers abandoned it, and fell back to the Blazon's Arch. But ten years ago, poor villagers, fleeing Sunfall, colonized it again. And since then we've never heard of it.  
\- Why now then?  
\- Because refugees have been returning to Meridian since the attack. They were excluded and did not dare to show themselves before, but ...

Talanah crossed her arms over her chest with a sigh.

\- They say they are invaded by aggressive machines. Before, they managed to push them away, but it's over. They prefer to live, even when they are ostracized.   
\- Avad excludes them? Aren't they Carjas?  
\- Yeah, originally. But they left the Sundom. The border is at the Blazon's Arch. West is prohibited.  
\- What if they come back?  
\- People are afraid to speak to them, they speak a mixed dialect ... other tribes encountered beyond.

Aloy's eyes widened.

\- Are there peoples there? Why doesn't Avad send a force to explore and help these populations?  
\- It's forbidden, Aloy!  
\- What? But ... you are no different from the Noras!

Talanah sat down.

\- It has nothing to do with it, Aloy. The Sun Kings have already tried to walk west, to create trade routes, to exchange. But it always ended in a bloodbath. These populations are very hostile. Very little is known about them, other than that they are aggressive towards any stranger.  
\- But these villagers, from ... Redsun. They have succeeded in bonding with it!

A silence fell, Talanah stood up again and came to put her hand on Aloy's shoulder.

\- My Thrush ... proud and fierce. If there is anyone who can find out how, it's you. Anyway, I don't see how I could dissuade you, right?  
\- No, indeed.  
\- So I wish you good luck. But remember, even the best hunter can fall under the paw of the smallest prey, if he is not careful.  
\- I will think about it, as always.  
\- Come back to me when you know more! Talanah told her going back to her documents.

Aloy came out of the lodge, legs animated by a lightness that she had forgotten for many days. She had to find these refugees, learn more about this west she knew nothing about. Maybe then she could understand why the machines remained hostile despite the HADES purge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!  
> Ok, this chapter was mainly an Erend chapter, so sorry if you were looking for a rapid kiss... BUT, stay tune besause it's a slow burn and I wanted to add a love triangle. It's funnier!  
> Has you understood, Aloy found a new interest, Avad has great ambitions for him and Aloy and Erend is, as ever, depreciatinh himself while he could be the man she wants...  
> Next part very soon!


	5. Chapter 5

The sun was already a memory when Erend's footsteps led him to his favorite tavern. There he was greeted with raised mugs of ale and cheers. The citizens of Meridian knew that the Captain had fought valiantly and thanked him for it. His soldiers greeted him warmly, with slaps on the back that eventually made Erend sit on a bench. He didn't even have to get up, and without realizing it, a mug of his favorite ale was there.

It was the first time since the battle that his soldiers had given themselves a break (for those not on duty) and celebrated victory Oseram style. Erend had been urged to join his men at the end of his work, and having no other occupation planned, he had accepted. In the first place, he had even looked forward to this upcoming event, but the more the day went by, the more clouds seemed to accumulate above him.

He had rarely drunk since Ersa's funeral. It seemed to him that it was centuries ago, when only a few months had passed. Spring and summer had passed, and the wind heralded the beginning of autumn. He stared at the mug as if he was struggling in a fight he felt was lost.

It had been a long day, even longer since word had passed in the Vanguard that Erend had been seen coming out of the house Aloy was occupying the night before. He had first felt the eyes resting on him, but no one dared to stare at him when he turned to face them. It had ended up annoying him more than reason, and finally, it was Kando who blew up Erend.

_\- Did you kiss her this time? Kando asked in an innocent and almost detached voice._

_\- WHAT? Erend cried, dropping the war hammer he was putting away in the armory._

_Kando cleared his throat, trying to speak more clearly._

_\- Is..._

_But he couldn't finish his sentence. Erend turned and grabbed him by the collar, causing Kando to drop the hammers he was holding in his arms. Kando saw Erend's face contort and thought he was going to take a hit, but instead he felt his grip loosen and the hit didn't come. He saw Erend go swearing and limping._

_It wasn't until he saw the pile of hammers at his feet that he understood, and huffed. It could have been worse, he thought. Erend was a gentle and fair man, but better not to titillate him on sensitive matters. Angry Erend was not a moderate man._

Erend snapped out of his thoughts as he glanced at his aching foot. For an outside eye, nothing changed, but the bandages around his toes greatly annoyed him inside his boot. Luckily none of the hammers had broken his foot, thanks to the steel shell of his boot certainly. He sighed.

Gorn and Iona, one of the women soldiers of the Vanguard, came to sit around him. Iona raised her mug, and Gorn came over to drink. Erend did too, with ill-feigned gusto.

\- Sighing Heart doesn't have what it desires ... she whispered.

\- Oh no, he muttered. Not you too.

\- It's no secret, not since Pitchcliff, she replied in a low voice.

\- I don't want to talk about it, he said, almost drinking his mug in one gulp.

\- What questions me is that ... it's so obvious! Why haven't you told her? And her, how can she see nothing? It's incomprehensible, and way too complicated, in my opinion, she said, also taking a large sip of her ale.

\- I am his friend, I am largely satisfied, that is all.

\- Ah! She exclaimed ironically. Yes, we all got to see that. Kando by the way ...

\- Kando should have closed his big mouth! He said a little too loudly, as eyes quickly turned to him, before returning to their concerns.

Erend raised his hand and the bartender quickly brought him a new mug.

\- Erend, well, I mean ... Captain ...

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow. It was a sign that she could speak quite freely, and she responded with a smile.

\- Erend, what are you waiting for! The victory is ours, and soon, she will return to her tribe. You won't have a better time.

\- Aloy ... she is not a woman like the others, he said plaintively. I can't expect her to stay here with me. She's going to leave, that's for sure.

\- But it's obvious that she likes you!

\- I think she likes me yes. As a friend. I will never be able to impose this bond on her again.

\- You will be miserable if you do nothing to keep her by your side. I have never seen you so passionate than by her side, in the way you look at her.

\- I don't want to keep her Inoa. I would like to win her. And it takes time, he objected.

Inoa fell silent, drank the end of her mug and finally got up to go find other soldiers further away. But before leaving, she leaned towards him.

\- Don't lose her anyway. One of us has the right to be happy.

At these words, Erend looked up at her. He saw that they were wet and took her hand, squeezing it gently.

\- You will be, I'm sure.

\- True love only happens once, I think, she said, shrugging her shoulders. And when it has the chance to be reciprocal, then he should not be let go.

He was silent, still holding her hand, unable to let go like that, miserable and bitter. He felt the guilt of their common past. She read it in his eyes and shook her head, removing her hand from his, and resting it on his shoulder.

\- Don't worry about me, I'm alive when three days ago I thought I wouldn't see the sunrise. So I intend to take advantage of it! And you should do the same.

Then she leaned down and kissed him quickly on the forehead, then left to join a group of noisy soldiers. Erend watched her for a moment, the idea running through his head. The Noras, Avad, his friendship ... there were so many obstacles that could get between him and her. Almost without thinking about it, he emptied his second tankard in one gulp.

Little by little his ideas clouded over. He raised his hand again. His men recounted their exploits of the last few days, taking great care to add many details. Laughter erupted, the ale was spilled and some needed others to straighten up. Out of the corner of his eye, Erend vaguely saw the bartender railing. He suddenly felt lighter and lighter, dark thoughts replaced by ale and the heat of this meeting.

He raised his hand again. His laughter joined the others.

***

Avad gently dismissed the maid who had served him breakfast and greeted Marad with a smile. As always, this one was already at work long before sunrise. He bowed to his king, then sat down as Avad showed him.

\- Have the invitations been issued?

\- Yes your Majesty. The date is confirmed.

\- Well, I guess the sooner this is over, the sooner the emissaries will return home.

Marad cleared his throat lightly, but continued.

\- The Nora delegation made it known through the voice of its leader, War Chief Sona, that they would not be joining the party.

Avad frowned.

\- Unfortunately, that doesn't surprise me ... But what do they plan to do by then?

\- They want to leave tomorrow at dawn. To wait another two days, then the two feast days, was too long. They invoke the destruction of the Sacred Lands and the help they must bring to it.

\- I understand them, even though I regret their upcoming absence. Make sure everything is ready for their departure tomorrow, and offer them any help they might need. We owe them a debt.

\- I doubt they will accept any help, however, I will do as you ask your Luminance.

A shadow passed over Avad's face, who seemed reluctant to speak.

\- Majesty? Eventually asks for Marad.

\- The Noras, are they leaving ... well, I mean, will Aloy of the Noras be in the convoy tomorrow?

Marad couldn't suppress a slight smile, put his tea down, stood up, bowed, then left quickly.

***

Teb sat on a cot in the hospital, while Varl faced Aloy. He seemed to be the arbiter of a fight that would end in blood if one of them exceeded the imaginary limit drawn at their feet.

\- You are our Anointed, we NEED you! Cried Varl.

\- THE ANOINTED! Aloy choked. I was an outcast for eighteen years, and suddenly I'm your chosen one!

\- The goddess speaks to you, so yes you are the chosen one!

Aloy started to pace and Varl huffed hard to calm himself. He resumed, making an effort not to cry out yet.

\- I do what I can not to throw myself at your feet, to ask the brave not to kneel before you. But that doesn't change who you are Aloy! The tribe was wrong to reject you, and you know I don't mean a word of what Lansra can say. But precisely, come with us! Show everyone how exceptional you are! Don't stay here ... Aloy!

\- Varl, I don't belong to this tribe!

\- You won the Proving, he objected. Why did you do it if not to join us?

Aloy froze in his erratic steps, he scored a point. Squeezing her jaws, she turned to him.

\- I only wanted an answer, a simple answer! She cried.

Then, holding her nose, she sighed to calm herself.

\- I don't even want to explain everything to you, Varl. I'm not going home right away, that's all.

\- You'd rather go to their stupid celebrations, in this tainted city! Enraged Varl.

\- Yes, that's it, Aloy quipped. You know me so well, you know I love to be the center of attention.

\- That's not what I meant...

\- I will join you. But not right now. Meridian needs the help I can give it.

\- Like the Noras.

Teb stood up, he couldn't stand another minute of this deaf dialogue.

\- Enough, Varl.

Varl turned his head towards him, surprised at the tailor's audacity.

\- Aloy answered you, she's not coming with us. That should be enough for you.

\- Stay in your place Teb!

But Teb took a step towards him, significantly narrowing the distance between the two.

\- No, we are no longer at the heart of the Mother. I am not a brave, but I am a citizen of Meridian now. I have the right to express myself.

Varl and Aloy were silent for a few moments. Teb had just said that he would never return to the Sacred Lands, in a few words. He continued, daring to raise his head to face the brave.

\- Aloy saved us all here and in the Sacred Lands. She has saved and helped so many people that we can no longer demand anything from her. I think that eighteen years in exile and so many services rendered leave her free to choose. The Noras will recover, as always. I have known the red raids, I have seen the burnt villages. And then, I witnessed the reconstruction.

\- The Carjas are ten times more numerous than us!

Teb raised his hand without answering, and Varl let out a cry of exasperation. He turned and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Aloy collapsed on the bed, shaking. The adrenaline was falling. Teb slowly sat down too, shaking too. His eyes fixed on the ground, he seemed to contain his breathing so that it found a normal rhythm. Aloy swallowed then turned to him.

\- So ... citizen of Meridian?

\- I just thought about it, he admitted.

\- What? Aloy exclaimed, his eyes widening.

\- Inspiration. I've had enough of Varl, the Noras, our silly customs. I love Meridian, the people here are welcoming. And Avad ... this king seems to want to expand access to his kingdom.

\- He's a good man ... breathed Aloy.

\- So it's decided. I'm staying. Hilke, one of their healer, offered me a job. She says I'm very good at suturing, and I learn the rest quickly.

Aloy put her hand on his forearm, moved.

\- She is certainly right. I'm happy if you are too.

\- I'm. And why stay in a tribe that has always considered me a sub-human because ...

\- Because you are not a brave?

\- And because I don't want a wife, he confessed.

Aloy's eyes widened, understanding. He looked at her sadly, but she hugged him.

\- Thanks Aloy, he said, hugging her back.

\- You will find happiness here Teb.

She pulled away from him to look him in the eye again, with pride.

\- And maybe even the right man for you?

\- I hope so, he smiles. How about ... look at these sutures now?

Aloy smiled back at him and lay down on the bed.

***

Erend woke up with a mushy mouth, a headache he knew all too well as a bonus. It seemed to him that the forges of the entire Request were at work pounding his skull.

He refused to open his eyes, it was his day off after all. Moving his arms, he felt around him. He sensed the cold parquet, and deduced that he had been too drunk to go upstairs to his bed. Unless one of his men walked him home and, drunk too, couldn't carry him to his bed. Having no memory of the end of the evening, he deduced that he had been too drunk whatever.

He groaned as the forges of his skull redoubled in intensity. And then it seemed to him that maybe it was something else. Yes ... he agreed to open his eyes, trying to do it several times. He made out the shadow of footsteps under his door. Someone was knocking on his door.

He hesitated for a moment. To not answer. Stay on the floor and spend his day like that. He might forget Aloy a little.

The knocking on the door started again and he heard someone calling him, without knowing who. He groaned again and agreed to stand, as the individual didn't seem determined to let go. Fire and spit, how long had he been there?

Getting up required as much concentration as a regular fight. The earth was his enemy, a wrong move and he was going straight to the ground. After several unsuccessful attempts, he finally managed to stand up straight and, leaning on the furniture and walls, he took the few steps that separated him from his front door.

Opening cautiously, you never knew, and blinking, dazzled by the sun, he recognize Varl.

\- Varl? What do you want ? He asked with an effort to articulate clearly.

\- You must speak to Aloy, said the brave man abruptly without further preamble.

\- What? About what ?

Varl stared at Erend who grumbled as he opened his door wider and pushed himself aside to let him in. The Nora looked annoyed, and although it bothered Erend to receive him and especially to listen to him, a touch of curiosity beckoned him to learn more.

Once the two men were inside, he closed the door, saluting briefly the passers-by who watched, astonished, Varl's noise on his door. Varl waited, fists clenched, and tapping his foot as Erend poured himself a glass of water in an attempt to concentrate. He collapsed into a chair, put the glass down and took a breath.

\- Go ahead, explain.

\- Aloy refuses to leave with us. She wants to stay here to help rebuild. But All-Mother knows that we need her! The Sacred Lands are nothing more than a field of ruins!

Erend felt immense relief despite the tension. Aloy wanted to stay. Not for him, but at least she would be there.

\- Ok, she wants to stay. And? Couldn't help saying Erend.

\- I saw you talking, before the battle. I saw you looking at her, I also know that she listens to you.

\- What do you mean, Varl? Speak clearly, Erend growled.

\- Did you ask her to stay? Varl blurted out.

\- No.

\- I'm sure she doesn't say it all!

\- So what ? She's free.

\- We NEED her, Varl exasperated.

\- Us ... or you? Opposed Erend.

The two men stared at each other. If Varl's eyes had been arrows, Erend would have died, pierced.

\- Let's talk fair, Erend suggested before taking another sip of water.

\- I do not see what you're talking about.

\- Stop. To others.

\- Aloy is the Anointed, she is Nora. Her place is with us.

\- Varl, if you say "Anointed" again, I swear you will eat porridge from today, Erend said coldly.

\- You don't like it, but it is.

\- What do you want from me ? Speak quickly and frankly, it's my day off and this discussion annoys me.

\- If you're her friend, if you care about her, then you know it's in her best interests to come home. I want you to talk to her.

Erend sighed. He had a really bad headache, and Varl was unbearable. Still, he might have been right. But not for the reasons he gave.

\- First of all, Aloy is my friend, and precisely because she is my friend, I am not going to impose anything on her. She will do whatever she wants. Second, I'm not quite sure what your intentions are. Finally ... he paused before staring at Varl. I don't have a third point after all.

Varl remained silent. He and Erend stared at each other for a few seconds more, before Varl took his face with both hands.

\- Varl ... said Erend getting up and putting a hand on his shoulder. Give her time.

But Varl pushed his hand away violently and turned, opening and slamming the door behind him. Erend didn't move an inch, then sighed and dragged himself to his couch where he let himself fall. Damn Varl, damn Noras. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on his breathing. Despite his urge to go back to sleep and his deafening headache, he couldn't help but smile. Aloy was staying, for now at least. And finally, his day off started off pretty well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so...   
> Varl is really angry, Avad is hopefull, Erend is relevied. Well, what a trio!  
> I'm so eager to see what will be the conversation between Erend and Aloy AND the party!
> 
> Hope you enjoy ;-)


	6. Chapter 6

Talanah had spoken of foreigners speaking a different dialect. After her heated discussion with Varl and the announcement of the upcoming festivities, she felt she needed to focus on something else, on a new goal.

Her footsteps led her to the traders whose stalls continued to carry exotic wares. She decided to strike up a conversation and soon it was told that strangers had sought to sell their productions. She walked towards a camp on the edge of town, high up in the Maizelands.

You had to cross the west bridge and then descend to the edge of the river. She found herself letting her hands touch the tall grass aimlessly as she walked, her mind at first like a torrent of thoughts that soon faded into memories. She found herself seeing again through her childish eyes her first hunts, the first tracking with Rost. Everything seemed so much simpler, more distant, even more secure. She had a goal, a guide, the certainty deep inside that she would be able to find who her mother was. She thought she would see her again, and once the Proving was won, everything would be different, her life would really begin.

And today, when everyone was so relieved and congratulated her for fixing everything ... she knew that for her, nothing was finished. She didn't really have a mother. No father. An immense task before her which she did not know where to start ... Gaia had to relive, but how? Was destroying HADES enough?

And above all, when would all of this finally end? Staying, choosing a place in a tribe, whatever it was, was not an option. And yet, something inside her screamed her need to know what her future would hold. What would be her place, with whom would she share it. Who would she become, or would she never be more than an instrument destined to always accomplish tasks that were beyond her?

She shuddered as she saw the horizon of her life flee further and further.

But soon the cries of children pulled her from her thoughts. Three of them were playing with a ball, bickering happily on a sand beach by the water. And just a few yards away, sketchy tents had been erected. She had certainly found the refugee camp, well separated from all the other encampments.  
A woman who was pouring water into a cauldron got up hurriedly when she saw her arrive. She froze and Aloy could see from her gaze that she was panicked. Suddenly she realized that it was she who terrified her. Aloy had retrieved all of her hunting gear, and she quickly untied it from her back to put it on the ground.

The woman looked relieved, and she nodded. Aloy asked her softly as she approached if she could ask her a few questions but the woman didn't seem to understand everything. The woman showed her a barter prepared to make a bench and waved, invited Aloy to sit on it, then served her a cup of a hot mixture that appeared to be tea.

Aloy thanked her with a look and the woman sat down next to her. They tried to speak for a while, but while some words sounded the same, many were different and the conversation was very difficult.

Suddenly the woman whose first name Aloy had understood was Nyris leaned down and traced glyphs on the ground that Aloy recognized. Nyris showed her the fire and wrote it: FIRE. Aloy's eyes widened, she said the word, then the woman smiled and said it in her turn in her dialect. Aloy wrote in her turn, and sighed in relief after a few minutes of discussion. They had found the key, she had to tell Talanah.

***

Erend woke up again as the sun was setting. The rays of light filtering through the drawn curtains were orange. He sighed when he realized he had wasted his day off. "For once ..." he muttered to himself.

He still took at least an hour to wash and shave, not forgetting to drink as much tea as possible. It was more of an infusion by the way, an Oseram mixture supposed to facilitate the elimination of excess.

Once changed, his armor stowed on his valet and cooler, he decided to go in search of his meal. He left his house and walked through the alleys to the central market of Meridian. After the fighting, it was more sparse than usual, with some traders not returning. He noted that it was especially the stalls of foreigners. The trade routes had most likely been cut, and he figured that before long Avad would send soldiers, maybe even him, to inspect those routes ...

It was a flash of red that suddenly caught his attention. He quickly paid for his purchases before setting off in pursuit of what had piqued his interest, and after jostling a few passers-by, he joined Aloy who was rapidly ascending the heart of town towards the royal bridge.

He accelerated to bar her passage with a broad smile.

\- Erend! She exclaimed, pulled from her thoughts.  
\- Where are you running like that?  
\- I have to see Avad and Talanah, I told her to meet me at the palace. I'm in a hurry Erend, she annoyed in front of him as he didn't move in her path.  
\- So, I've been told that you don't go! He cried, smiling and ignoring what she had said just before.

She frowned, then folded her hands across her chest.

\- You drank.

He raised his hands and put one on his heart in a dramatic gesture.

\- Yes, I admit it. But ! I am off duty today.  
\- Not for long, believe me, she whispered to him. I need you, Erend. So… she dropped her hands and sighed. Come to your senses and join us, as soon as you can.

Erend felt like an icy shower fall on him. Aloy looked serious, more so than usual. She had put her pre-battle shell back on, and though his mind was still cloudy, he felt she wasn't joking.

\- I'll do it as quickly as possible, he said, nodding.  
\- I have to go.

She walked around him without looking at him and began to trot towards the bridge. He looked at her for a moment before turning back to his house. He passed soldiers pulling carts of debris and heard evening prayer in the distance, as well as the funeral liturgy before the cremation. He had seen the pyres set down below and a shiver ran through him.

Meridian was barely recovering from the battle, so what danger was it preparing to face, so soon? He shook his head so as not to think about it. _Not now, no_. He had to make himself pleasant and rinse his mouth, especially. Avad wouldn't want to see him like that, much less Aloy.

***

Talanah was already speaking with Avad when Aloy entered the courtroom. As she climbed the stairs, she had passed nobles whom the guards were dismissing for the day. Avad had declared a day of mourning and the hearings were suspended, just before the celebrations which were to begin two days later.

She didn't give a damn to the half-hateful, half-fearful looks that the nobles gave her. They were visibly unhappy at being fired and jealous that a stranger could still be received, however, they seemed to refrain from commenting for fear of offending the red haired hunter who had saved the world.

She nodded to Marad who was waiting for her at the top of the steps and they both entered the room.

\- Aloy of the Noras is here your Radiance.  
\- Aloy, it's always a pleasure to see you but I'm worried: why this extraordinary request?

Talanah turned to her and Avad sat down.

\- Talanah told you what she asked me for help I guess.  
\- Indeed.  
\- I found some information. I wanted you to be able to hear them at the same time. Talanah, because it's going to involve the lodge. And Avad, because Meridian will have to prepare.

Avad leaned forward, resting one of his arms on his thigh, listening.

\- I went to meet the refugees, one of their camps is located outside the city, on the bank of the river, to the west. There are four families, and one of the women spoke to me. Her name is Nyris.  
\- Did she talk to you? Do you understand their language? Talanah wondered.  
\- No, I only understood a few words that sound like ours. But after a while she wrote in the sand. And there I understood.  
\- What? Avad and Talanah asked in unison.  
\- Their dialect is much older than ours. They speak the language of the ancients.

There was a silence and Aloy asked Marad something to write on. He disappeared for a moment, then returned with parchment, quill, and ink.

He disappeared for a moment, then returned with parchment, quill, and ink. Aloy seemed to hesitate for a moment then unfolded the parchment on the ground, Talanah brought her a cup which she took without asking for anything on a tray and Avad did the same. Everyone gathered around the parchment, Marad too. So Aloy activated his focus and took the cup in her left hand, then trembling, dipped the quill and awkwardly traced the name that displayed on her focus: CUP.

\- What did you write? Suddenly asked Erend that no one had heard enter.

They all jumped up and she stood up.

\- I wrote cup, as it was said among the ancients. I can read their language, I can hear it a little too. But I don't know how to speak it yet. Their accent is strange, but now I understand them. Thanks to the focus, I can translate them. The focus translates the language of the ancients, some of their words are different but not much.

\- How did you understand it?

\- Since I found it ... I have discovered over the years that our language and that of the ancients are different. I learned it. And when she showed me what she was writing, I recognized letters.

Avad stood up in turn, fascinated.

\- Letters ?

\- Yes, that's what they called the glyphs. They are simpler, less numerous. I had never written them before.

\- It's fascinating ... he whispered. What do you know about the Ancients or their language? He asked eagerly.

At these words, all eyes turned to her.

\- I'll tell you everything, but first you need to listen to me. We have a problem.

\- Speak without interrupting, Avad said with a wave of his hand.

\- Nyris told me that her people come from the West. They were spared from corruption, she had never seen anything like it. But a few moons ago, machines that they had never known appeared, and attacked them. They attack any human on sight. And to make matters worse, the attacks have multiplied, also affecting machines that they used to see but which did not approach homes. Sawtooths, for example. That's why they came here. They heard travelers say that the land was defended against machines. They have children ...

\- What kind of machines? Talanah asked.

\- Large ones. Nothing that I know of. Their eyes are still red, she told me.

\- Always on alert ... Erend whispered.

\- Yes. But HADES has been defeated, so I don't get it, Aloy said. I am afraid I have only shifted the problem.

\- If they spoke of several moons, then the problem was there before, Marad tempered. I can send scouts to tell us about this problem.

\- In the meantime, we'll be building camps closer to the city, providing them with whatever they need, Avad said, staring at Marad.

\- It will be done, your Majesty, replied Marad. I'll go and pass the orders, if you don't mind.

Avad nodded and Marad bowed, then saluting the others quickly, left.

\- Thanks Avad, this is exactly what I wanted. These families have lost everything, and ... they are rejected by the citizens. It's not fair, they are just different. Some of them were hit.

\- I will do my best to protect them.

\- As for me, said Talanah, I will call my hunters back and tell them what I have just learned. We should be able to mount an expedition westward within a few days. Again ... we have to be allowed to do so, she called out to Avad.

The latter immediately understood the illusion. The West was forbidden.

\- The laws enacted are made to ensure order and peace, the security of the people. Today I learn that a new threat hangs over the western border. So I am in favor of exploring these lands in the hope that we will find the answers to this mystery and the means to guard against this danger. I thank the Falcon-Sun for her dedication as well as the whole lodge of hunters.

\- Thank you, your Radiance, said Talanah, bowing.

\- I leave it to you to prepare this expedition. In the meantime, I hope that the gates of Meridian will be consolidated as soon as possible, and this until the Victory celebrations. Captain, I ask you to double the rounds, not at the palace but on the ramparts. The soldiers are exhausted and I wish they could rest before facing ... anything that threatens us.

Erend took a step forward, his brow furrowed. His post was Captain of the Vanguard, his role was with his King. Azan was General Carja. He was in charge of the security of the city. But Avad seemed to know what he was doing. The city was his priority, as during the attack on the Eclipse. So he stopped and was silent.

\- I don't want the celebration to be canceled, Avad continued. All of our allies fought courageously and lost theirs. Today we mourn these losses. The day after tomorrow we will celebrate their courage and life. And only then, when hearts and bellies are warmed and satisfied, when minds are rested, then will we face this new threat.

Aloy crossed her arms, dissatisfied.

\- Action without reflection leads to nothing, except defeat. We are talking about innocent men, women and children. Let's leave it to Marad's scouts and give the lodge time to organize itself. In the meantime, not a word of this should filter through. People are exhausted, a panic movement would be disastrous.

She would have liked to jump into battle right away, she felt she had a new reason for living there. But Avad was definitely right. She could take advantage of these few days to rest, repair her armor and prepare for her departure.

She finally nodded, and Avad smiled almost imperceptibly. Everyone understood that this was the end of this audience, and Talanah was the first to take a decided step after she bowed. Then Aloy turned her back and without further reverence, she left. Erend followed suit before a dubious Avad.

***

Night had finally fallen when Erend dared to stand outside the door of Olin's house. He had wanted to catch up with her, but to tell her what? She didn't seem inclined to listen to his jokes and outrageous attempts at flirtation. She had followed Talanah and it was unthinkable for him to set foot in this lodge. There was no place, and had nothing to do with it.

So he had gone to the room of the soldiers of the Vanguard, to take the news of the day. The usual drunken brawls. The rubble clearing ended slowly. Traces of Eclipse members still alive but no immediate threat. The protection of priests at the Spire, and assistance to pilgrims who came to recollect on the battlefield.

Kando had ended up gently making him understand that he had nothing to do on his day off at work.

He was standing in front of that door and had seen a light outside, so he knew she was there. He could invite her to eat outside, to talk. He took his courage in both hands and walked towards the door, and it was then that he heard the voices behind the door. Puzzled, he leaned down to listen without letting it be known he was there.

The still fractured door didn't close completely, and it let sounds pass without too much muffling them.

\- Ok, so I'm going: you offered to visit the interior of All-Mother with you, remember?

\- Varl ... she sighed. I haven't forgotten.

Erend felt the warmth of jealousy hug him. What was going on in between?

\- Mother ... Chief Sona, she says that no one should force the other to interpret what is expected. To speak clearly and directly. That honesty is a gem that the All-Mother has given us.

\- Good advice, that you should apply. Speak varl, Aloy annoyed.

\- Why would you want to show me what only the Anointed can see, if it is to reject me afterwards?

\- It is not you that I reject Varl. Frankly, I don't want to have this conversation, YET.

\- I speak frankly. Come with us, with ... me. I didn't want to say anything until the battle was over, but first you refuse to return to the Sacred Lands, and now I hear through Talanah that you plan to go far west hunting? You said you wanted to stay to help the people of this town, and now you're running away from it?

\- Varl ... I'm not running away. I am doing exactly what I said. But I will be more useful where I go. You don't understand, I ...

A sigh of exasperation.

\- Why would I tire of explaining? You won't understand.

\- Oh yes ? I'm so stupid ?

\- It has nothing to do with Varl. You're just too ... stuck in traditions.

A noise Erend couldn't recognize, like a slip, and a muffled cry of surprise. He stuck squarely to the door, no longer paying attention to what an outside spectator might think. But hearing nothing, he searched for a crack in the side of the door to see what was going on, hoping to catch a glimpse of the two protagonists. His eyes widened in surprise.

Varl had given up his furs, probably because of the stifling heat. But above all he had ripped off the tribal crest and was holding Aloy's hands in his.

\- I don't want to be. I believe ... there are some things that should not change, but others are. Did I not accompany you to Devil's Grief? I would have followed you anywhere, but some things are sacred.

\- Varl ...

\- Please, Aloy! I ... I want you to live! You are too precious for the tribe, for all of us! For me.

\- Precious ?

She quickly took her hands back.

\- Don't make me say it Aloy ...

\- No, go ahead, say it. Am I "precious"? Like an object that should not be lost? Why not say "useful", Varl! She cried. Really, you don't understand anything! I am not a thing! I want to be free, Varl!

\- No, Aloy, that's not it. I...

But he remained silent. The words did not come out.

\- Get out, said Aloy coldly.

At these words, Erend jumped. But seeing that Varl was not moving, he stayed.

\- Go outside ! she yelled.

\- Aloy, let me try to tell you ... show you. I'm going to leave and I don't want to ...

But she cut him off.

\- Varl, don't try. I don't want to hear anything more. Go away.

\- No ! Taking a breath, he walked over to her and took her forearm.

She pulled but he didn't let go. He closed his eyes and inhaled as if to concentrate.

\- Let go of me, Varl! She said clenching her teeth.

Seeing that Varl wasn't letting go, and even though he knew Aloy was quite capable of defending herself on her own, his blood only swirled.

The sound of the door slamming against the walls made Aloy and Varl jump. He let go of her instantly and the two of them turned to Erend, scarlet.

\- What ... began Varl.

\- She asked you to let go of her.

\- What? Are you spying now ?! Spat Varl.

But Erend stepped forward and his fist immediately met Varl's nose, which cracked. Varl staggered under the blow and brought his hands to his face, cursing.

\- Buzz off. And pray to your goddess that I won't find you right away.

Varl did not have to repeat it. He left without picking up his badge in front of Aloy, who remained silent, dumbfounded.

Finally, after several seconds of heavy silence, Erend wiped his fist on his shirt and started to walk away without saying anything more. He cursed internally. Avad wouldn't forgive him if this happened. The Noras were invited and should be treated well. And Aloy would surely hate him for spying on her and acting like an idiot.

But as he walked through the door, he heard her call him.

\- Erend!

He turned miserably to her.

\- I'm sorry ... I didn't mean ...

\- Thank you.

He remained silent, it was absolutely not what he would have expected to hear. She walked down the steps towards him, a little embarrassed.

\- Do you want to go inside?

He nodded, and she smiled at him. They both entered the house, and Erend closed the door as best he could. Avad could go to hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: the victory celebrations!  
> This will need an entire chapter.  
> Sorry if some of you think that the romance is long to begin... I think it too but I also think that it cannot begin too quickly, it'll not be realistic. So I take my time but as long and hard is the way, as good the end will be ;-)


	7. Chapter 7

They found themselves sitting side by side on the sofa of blue and gold cushions. Erend tried to look everywhere except her. She had invited him in, just after she caught him spying, he had hit Varl ... He didn't even really know what he had come to do there.

Aloy also seemed lost in her thoughts, and they had taken care to leave a distance between them large enough not to touch each other. Still, she was the first to speak after a while.

\- I could have hit him, but I didn't want to.

\- I wanted, he replied.

She giggled.

\- I saw.

He finally turned to her, his hands resting on his thighs.

\- I shouldn't have listened, I'm sorry.

\- No, don't apologize. I'm glad you stepped in. I'm ... tired of these pretenses.

He swallows. _What did she mean?_ He prepared to have to apologize again, to leave, to lose the friendship he cherished more than anything down here. She was staring at an unseen spot in the ground, and her tousled hair cascaded down around her hiding her face. It was impossible for him to see her expression at this precise moment.

\- Everyone expects things from me. Avad, Varl, Talanah ... I'm not good at making friends, and ... I'm used to being alone. Varl, he wants me to go back to the Nora, he says that they are my people, that I am their Anointed. But I know he especially wants me to be with him.

He waited a few seconds, and as she no longer spoke:

\- And you, don't you want to? He asked timidly.

She finally turned to him, giving him a dark look.

\- Ok, I got it! But I mean ... Going back to the Noras is no, I get it. But if you say everyone uses you, why keep letting them?

\- I don't understand.

\- You are going to leave for the West, it does not seem to me that you are being forced. Avad even had to brake you earlier, which I will thank him for tomorrow by the way, he joked.

Again, she narrowed her eyes and it seemed to him that she was thrusting two spears into his heart, cutting the flesh to leave it raw.

\- Follow me, she finally told him.

She stood up and he jumped after her. She walked quickly to the kitchen and put her hand on the table, nodding at the chairs.

\- It was the day before yesterday Erend, remember?

\- How to forget it? He smiles foolishly. Ok, he thought better, yes I remember of course.

\- I am an object.

Heaps of images flashed through Erend's head at that moment that had nothing to do with Aloy, but he forced himself to concentrate and the bits of their conversation came back to him.

\- You didn't explain.

\- Because that's just what I am Erend! I ... I was created to save this world, this mission is mine, me alone. If I fall, if I miss ... then all these deaths will have been for nothing! She said, tears beading in her eyes.

\- Aloy ... he took a step towards her without daring to touch her. I want to understand, I swear to you, but I'm not ... well, I'm the useless drunkard trying to take on his new role. I am not intelligent, I am made by force. Explain to me, please.

She sighed.

\- First of all, you are not the “useless drunkard”. You are my friend, Erend. I think it's only you and Teb who, for some reason I don't know, never asked me for anything. Well, not since ...

_Ersa._

\- Aloy ...

_No, Aloy, don't think so. I am an impostor. I want things, so many things. I want to hold you in my arms, feel my fingers slip through your hair. Smell again and again the scent of your skin, herbs and the sun when it lights you up. I want to take your hand, to kiss you, to know you are mine ..._

\- Erend, I don't even know if I'll be clear. Half of what I can say seems like madness to me too.

\- If there's one thing I do know, it's that you're the most decent person of all the people I know. Damn it ! You've always been right, you've done such amazing things ... that you're much more than a pretty girl in the middle of nowhere. But that, I think I said it before.

She wiped away her tears with the back of her hand and gave him a weak smile. And without further ado, she took his hand. He let himself be guided to the living room, trying to forever memorize the feeling of warmth emanating from her palm to his. She sat down dragging him along on the rough carpet, and she began to speak.

He doesn't say a word. She told him everything. Her training for the Proving, how she had lost Rost, how she had learned where she came from, then her way to Meridian. Then, everything she had learned from the ancients, from her origins. How she had finally learned that she was a key, the one that opened armored doors and unlocked the secrets to the origins of their world. Why HADES was just the start, and why she couldn't afford to stop her run. Why she should always go.

In the end, she was exhausted. Her last words were lost in a broken voice and tears flowed freely. He could see the rivers follow the gentle slope of her cheeks, borrow the little scars here and there, especially the new one she had on her cheekbone.

Erend realized everything she had been through. He had first admired Aloy's beauty and her outspokenness, then very quickly, her repartee. When he had found her, alive, in Meridian, he had also discovered with amazement her intellectual agility, her hunting abilities and her singularity. It was when he found himself pinned to the ground by Dervahl's infernal machine and heard the sounds of the fight that he realized: he loved this woman desperately, despite all the pain he felt for his sister, he thought of nothing but protecting her.

On the balcony, as he waited for her to pass there before leaving, he had realized what loving Aloy meant, and it had torn him in two. Loving Aloy meant letting her go. He was a static soldier, attached to his king who could not leave his capital city. She was a prodigious hunter, who could perceive far more than anyone, and was magnificently following a mission the end of which he could not understand. She was leaving, and he didn't know if they would see each other again.

But because he loved her, he would never hold her back. It was a fiery and savage embers, which could not be extinguished in a closed hearth.

He had fantasized whole nights about what he could say to her, about her in his arms, of a routine life that seemed so enviable to him. Him coming home after work to find her, make love, eat together and fall asleep side by side. She, in his arms, as they walk the streets of the city.

During the battle he had been so scared. As she stood on the point of the promontory, proudly raising her bow, he suddenly had a mad hope. They had won. She had accomplished her mission. Perhaps she could now stay, at least a little, somewhere? And maybe this somewhere could be Meridian?

Very quickly he realized that Aloy could never live a routine life, no. Whether it was her will or that of those around her. Avad, Varl, maybe even Teb ... and all those men watching her made him uncomfortable. Jealousy, disgust at seeing how they looked at her.

But he had been crazy to think he understood Aloy. He perceived that evening that he had only scratched the veil of his life. So many trials, alone. So many dangers he felt his throat tighten thinking about it. She could have never come back, so many times! He had never imagined the weight weighing on her shoulders. And today, he finally understood better. Yes, to love Aloy was to let her go. Help her, take some of this weight off by supporting her. He would never be able to tell her how he felt.

First, because it would certainly end a friendship that was important to them both. And above all because it was unimaginable for him to add one more worry to Aloy's shoulders. He had always been a burden to Ersa. No question to be for Aloy.

They were silent for a long time, where only the sound of their breaths and Aloy's sniffles could be heard. He pulled her to him, put his arm around her shoulders, and then he felt Aloy's crying grow louder. She turned her face to bury it in his chest, gripping his shirt. He stiffened. He had no idea what to do next, his mind was blank. He had acted on impulse, but didn't know what to do now to comfort her.

So he just held her against him and stroked her hair, until he felt she was calming down. It took a while, and after several minutes, he felt that her breathing was becoming more regular, more calm. Her hands had loosened their grip on his shirt and he felt the material slip. He waited a few more moments and, noting that she wasn't moving, he thought to himself that perhaps she didn't dare look at him anymore. He wanted to reassure her, tell her that he would always be there for her, so he cleared his throat gently.

It had no effect, so he lowered his hands to her shoulders and proceeded to gently pull her away from him. But to his surprise, she didn't move.

\- Aloy ... he called out softly.

He started to worry about her lack of response and pushed her away harder than before. And he found that she was falling more and more on him. Leaning down and raising Aloy's face, he saw that she had fallen asleep, and he couldn't help but smile. She looked relaxed, for once her face was perfectly still.

He slid her onto his arm and slowly stood up carrying her, then set her down on the couch. He watched her for a few seconds as she didn't move, then turned off the lights and left the house quietly. As he closed the door, he remembered it was fractured and hesitated. Should he leave her there, alone, and go home? He didn't feel at ease, and he decided to go back into the house.

He retrieved a blanket from one of the shelves, then went out again, sat by the door, curling up in the blanket. He shivered all the same: tiredness assailed him. The last few days had been tough. He fell back against the wall, his head propped back, and dozed off quickly, his legs across the steps leading to the door.

***

A clearing of throat woke him with a start. He painfully opened his eyes and found that he had stretched out almost full length on the porch during his sleep. Morning light seeped in from the street, and he looked up at whoever had woken him up.

\- M... Marad? He articulated painfully.

\- Captain, Marad greeted him, nodding his head.

Marad had a half smile but his voice betrayed no emotion, as usual. He whispered something to the two Carja guards accompanying him and they stationed themselves a little further down the alley.

Erend noticed that Marad was carrying a package surrounded by a gold ribbon. He straightened up as quickly as he could, and ran his hand through his hair to pull it back in place and along his beard. He actually felt pretty stupid. Suddenly, he seemed to come out of his torpor completely.

\- Damn it ! What time is it Marad?

-The morning song has already sounded, says Marad.

\- Fire and spit ...

\- We have assumed that your absence was due to the heavy workload you have before the Victory Celebration tomorrow. The king is busy with the preparations. He won't mind a slight change in protocol, he added, staring at Erend.

He sighed in relief.

\- Thanks, Marad. But ... why are you here? Suddenly asked Erend.

\- A parcel to deliver, Marad replied, shrugging his shoulders. His Radiance didn't want this to go through the hands of servants, you know how rumors are rife here.

\- Well ... about that, I'll appreciate your ... discretion on ... Erend paused, a nervous little laugh on his lips.

Marad looked down, then looked up at Erend, smiling openly now.

\- I didn't see anything this morning, Captain. As I said, your job is particularly busy, especially lately.

\- Thank you, sincerely, Erend sighed in relief.

\- I don't want you to stir his jealousy any more ... Avad needs all of his energy to be focused on something else now.

Erend then frowned.

\- There is nothing Avad can be jealous of, Erend objected. But, let's say I don't like rumors going unnecessarily.

\- The rumors have already spread like wildfire, Marad chuckled. And for someone who wants discretion, sleeping in front of our friend's door is not the best way.

\- But ... Erend stammered.

\- Captain, Marad said, approaching half a step. Rumors have been around since Aloy saved our king during Dervhal's attack. There are looks that you don't have to be a spy to decode.

Erend fell silent, now crimson.

\- Well, well. I'm going to hand over the package right away and if I may ...

He wrinkled his nose in disgust, and Erend realized his condition at that point. He sniffed discreetly himself, he indeed needed a good shower.

Looking up at Marad, he thanked him quickly and walked down the steps, blanket in hand. He walked as dignifiedly as possible past the Carja guards who couldn't help but giggle as he passed, and he gave them a glare that silenced them.

***

\- No way!

\- It is customary to wear formal attire for the festivities, especially when YOU are the object of the celebration, Talanah says emphatically.

\- But you saw this ... thing! Aloy shrugged, showing the robe that Marad had delivered to her.

Talanah looked at the dress, then Aloy, then the dress again and couldn't contain her laughter. She didn't stop until the spasms in her face hurt from tugging at the flesh that had been bared by the burnt metal.

Aloy was waiting for her to come to her senses, arms crossed, a look of deep annoyance on her face.

\- Okay, I admit it, I'll never see you in this. But it's a beautiful piece, I'm sure Avad ...

\- He wants me to make a fool of myself!

\- I wouldn't have said that. So what are you going to put on anyway? Let's start with the beginning.

Aloy uncrossed her arms and sighed.

\- I only have that ... But for the party before the Proving, it was fine.

\- Yurk! You're with the Carjas honey, we're not Noras here, she said scornfully. You can't come with your animal skins. Try to see it differently. In a few days you will resume hunting and your freedom, by then ...

\- Suffer in silence?

\- No, try other things.

Aloy narrowed her eyes and Talanah put her hand on her shoulder, her other hand stroking her hair. She circled around Aloy, gently stroking her shoulders.

\- You might even enjoy it, she joked.

\- Talanah ... I ... uh, I don't ... well, it's not .... Aloy stammered, crimson to the tip of her ears.

Talanah burst out laughing, confusing Aloy.

\- I was talking about clothes, jewelry, hairstyle! Not of me. I like men too much for that.

\- I thought for a moment ...

\- But since you speak of it, there is this Oseram who follows you everywhere, like a dog. They say that he even sleeps on your doormat, she whispered.

Aloy quickly pushed her hand away.

\- Erend is a friend.

\- Who sleeps on your doormat then.

\- I fell asleep while we were talking the other night. He probably did not want to leave me alone, since my door is still not repaired ...

\- Yes, because everyone knows how fragile you are! Laughed Talanah.

\- Either way, I don't care what people think. Erend is a dear friend.

\- Who devours you with his eyes as if he were a moth and you the flame of a lamp. He is irresistibly attracted ...

Aloy was silent for a moment, unsettled. Erend was her friend, a precious, close friend ... too close? She had no knowledge of love games, she who had never lived those first eighteen years with a man, her father. And it was not an easy subject to discuss with Rost. He had never addressed this question, letting her understand when she asked questions that these topics were passed on between women, and that once admitted into the tribe, she would have all the answers she asked for.

She had sensed Erend's stares, but his uninhibited flirts had never been interpreted as more than jokes in her eyes. Would they be something else, something more serious?

It is true that his attitude the other night had been strange, especially when she realized that he had spent the night in front of her door. While she might have been bothered by it, she had felt a new, gentle warmth. Thinking about it rekindled that warmth and she felt her cheeks tingle.

So she changed the subject. She didn't have time to think about it all.

\- Well, the question is: how do you put this thing on.

-Switch if you want, but it is not yet closed. I have never been attracted to Oserams. They make too much noise. But this Captain ... With a little more hair, a little less beard and above all a lighter armor, he would be perfect. You can tell his strong muscles when he moves, but I wonder if ...

\- Talanah! Aloy cut her off.

\- Well, whatever you like, said Talanah dryly.

\- Show me how we put this thing on.

\- Nope. If I try it for you now, then tomorrow you won't want to wear it anymore. Let's say I drop by your place tomorrow morning.

\- What? No !

\- If I try it on you now, then tomorrow I'll do whatever I want with your hair, Talanah negotiated.

Aloy crossed her arms, then raised them in surrender. She gave an angry roar and Talanah smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oups! I've first planned to write the Victory Celebration, but I felt that a chapter was missing before. So I wrote this first and NEXT chapter will be a part of the Celebration.  
> Special shout to @sacrificethemtothesquid for her beautiful story from which I borrowed the metaphor of the moth to designate Erend.  
> Special thanks to @motherkat for her support in this adventure and her writter's talent!  
> Kisses and see you soon!


	8. Chapter 8

The celebration was to begin at noon the next day, in accordance with Carja tradition. A ceremony would be given at the temple at noon, when the sun's rays would strike at its highest. Then it would be the start of the official celebrations, and of course, the reception given to the palace.

The people would celebrate the Victory in the streets, which had been decorated during the night. This morning, tables were set up in the streets, and a strange calm reigned. In the heart of town, everyone seemed to be preparing for the party.

Erend had been up very early so he could do a round before the festivities. The guards had been reinforced, mobilizing more soldiers than usual. Erend had asked his men to keep their eyes and ears open, both in and around the city. The crowds are said to be jubilant in the streets, and this just might be a good time for an attack. Marad had deployed his entire network but no sign of imminent threat had emerged.

Like the Carja General, Erend was expected at the palace during the festivities. He had spent a good part of the evening oiling and polishing his armor, and this morning he had tied his golden yellow ceremonial sling across his chest in addition to his scarf.He had also taken great care of his beard and his hair, and he felt particularly anxious as the sun rose in the sky.

He heard Avad before he saw him. He was giving his final orders before the start of the temple ceremony.

\- Oh, Erend! My friend, you are beautiful!

Avad waved his hand and the servants walked away, leaving the two men alone. Erend joined Avad who continued on his way through the palace.

\- I can't wait for the ceremony to begin, especially can't wait for it to be over! Avad said with a wink.

\- I understand you. But fortunately for me, I will not be on the front line to listen to these damn sermons!

\- A little devotion, Captain. I have another reason to look forward to ...

Avad suspended his sentence for a few seconds and then continued, his voice betraying his excitement.

\- It turns out that today is finally the time for me to be able to spend some time with Aloy. I asked Marad to start considering a union, and to see in the texts what it would be necessary to set in motion to be able to achieve it.

\- What?

\- It will never be possible as it is to unite me with a woman from another tribe. But I had started working on this subject a few years ago, when ... Well, I know it's not the priority at the moment, but since it will be long, I don't want to delay it either. 

Erend felt himself boiling inside.

\- And knowing that our friend will be heading back to the West very soon, I want to take advantage of these few hours to show her who I am.

\- Hum hum.

Erend nodded politely. Avad was his friend, but at this very moment he hated him. Avad was thinking of showing what he was, but he hadn't talked about finding out about Aloy. After what he had learned about the burden she carried, Avad's words seemed totally irrelevant to him.

\- You're very silent.

\- I don't know what to say, that's all, Erend summed up.

\- How about you talk frankly? Avad said stopping.

Erend looked up at him, Avad staring at him frankly now.

\- I know how to recognize when someone doesn't say what they're thinking, don't forget it.

\- Do you really want to talk about it now?

\- I'm listening to you.

\- Avad, I ... I'll be lying if I say that all this leaves me indifferent.

\- I know it.

\- Marad?

\- No. You just have to be blind. But I was wondering when you would dare to speak.

Erend ran his hand through his hair and sighed, then leaned against the wall. Avad didn't move, and Erend figured he had said too much, now he shouldn't back down.

\- You are my king, my friend, without doubt my best friend. I've always supported you, because of the two of us, you're the smartest.

\- Oh please! Avad taunted him.

\- Do you want to know, yes or no?

\- Speak.

\- I never objected to you, but this time, I think you are wrong. And that you will do your misfortune and that of Aloy if you take the path you have chosen for yourself ... and for her. Besides, I think you shouldn't choose at all.

A silence.

\- Aloy is not ... she will never be a queen. She is wild, free, and she must remain so at all costs. Even though it's hard for you, for me, to admit it.

Erend stared at Avad at that moment, and the faint look of disdain he saw on his face opened the floodgates of his anger.

\- Fire and spit, have you even spent time with her, understanding who she is, where she comes from, what she went through to appear to us as this experienced hunter? At only eighteen ?! We can be good, but at this point! Aloy is ... she is more than anything I could have imagined, and I consider myself lucky to be her friend! You should praise the Sun for helping you, for talking to you, for being here in Meridian. And to hear you talk about her without considering what she wants ... that revolts me.

Avad was silent for a moment longer. Then he took a breath and breathed slowly.

\- You let your feelings blow you away, Erend, he said calmly.

\- Okay, you can play this card, Erend retorted, pointing at him. You can try to say that this is all just ... of ...

\- Jealousy ? Desire?

\- Call it what you want! I'm not as good at words as you are, for sure. But anyway, you wanted how I felt, you got it.

They both remained stuck for a few minutes in their mutual resentment. Then Avad spoke again.

\- I have long believed that the rumors were unfounded. I wonder how I managed to ignore that you loved her. No doubt because I was sure I loved her too ... And then, I saw your face earlier. You are my friend Erend, I expect honesty from you.

\- You got it.

\- I'm not going to thank you for what you said. Nevertheless, I admire your frankness, even if it took you the time.

\- You are also my friend. But I tell you again: forget your crazy project.

\- What if we let her decide?

Erend felt his laughter come on and couldn't hold it back. Avad stared at him in puzzlement.

\- What is so funny?

\- Really, you're not listening.

Then he recovered.

\- Avad, it's time to go to the temple. So Avad straightened up and readjusted his imposing crown, the one he had to attach to his back and which made him suffer so much when he wore it for hours. He put on his king mask again and Erend felt the subtle change.

\- Captain?

\- I will escort you, my King.

***

As if the gods wanted to bless the day, the sun was bright and high in the sky. Erend could already hear the hubbub of citizens gathering in the streets, in the square of the temple.

The king was in conversation with the priest Naman, who was to officiate alongside four other priests. Erend waited patiently for the ceremony to begin, three steps behind Avad as usual. His hands usually crossed behind his back when he was stationed, he brought one to protect his eyes from the sun which was becoming blinding as it cursed inwardly against the weather which seemed to tickle especially slowly today.

But as he looked down to avoid the fiery rays burning his eyelids, he was dazzled by a whole different light.

He gasped for a moment, and when he came to his senses, he noticed that Avad had frozen too, in front of the questioning gaze of the priests. He had to admit that anyone was staring back at Aloy's beauty at that moment.

The crowd around her had no doubt recognized her, and naturally stepped aside as she walked towards the plaza under the temple. Her flaming hair was braided in a way all new to her, the different braids intertwined into one another to form a low bun, highlighting her head posture. Aloy was still her, with her gaze and her fluidity, but she was no longer herself and that made Erend's desire hotter.

Not to mention the blue carja silk dress, sober in color but indented at different points. With each step of Aloy, the silk adhered to her forms then flew around her. He swallows hard. A sparkle caught his eye more precisely and he narrowed his eyes to see what shone like this: she had put on an arm bracelet that reflected the sun and on her forehead hung a discreet jewel.

He chuckled bitterly, thinking that Avad might not have really tried to get to know Aloy but had observed her enough to know her measurements and the adornments that would make her - if possible - even better.

Aloy introduced herself to the guards who let her enter the temple without delay. All the while, Erend didn't take his eyes off her, magnetized by her beauty and aura. And he felt his legs tremble beneath him when she returned him a look full of daring and shamelessness as she took her place in the cordon of privileged guests arranged in a circle around the king and priests.

***

After the ceremony, the Carja gong was sounded, which only served to warn of danger, for births, royal weddings and deaths, and celebrations.

There was an explosion of joy throughout Meridian, and the crowd began to dance to the sound of drums and different bands spread throughout the city. Spontaneously, people served each other food, drank together, sang together.

The fannions were once again floating in the streets and the kites had resumed their place. We could hear the children laughing and bickering, running between groups.

Erend watched the popular jubilation from the palace's balcony of honor. The noble guests as well as the delegates of the various tribes, with the exception of the Noras displayed a less expressive jubilation than below, but for all that, the musicians hired by Avad set an atmosphere that he had only experienced once. times in his life, after the Liberation.

He had lost sight of Aloy after she was caught in a flood of colorful cloth after the ritual ceremony. Then he had found her in great discussion with the Banuk delegation, in particular with a huge man with a piercing gaze. They seemed to know each other well, and the man had shown him his deference to the hunter. He turned back to the room, his stomach growling, when he found himself face to face with Aloy who was quietly approaching him.

She let out a nervous little laugh he had never heard in her mouth before.

\- Aloy?

\- I wanted to surprise you, but I'm not sure I'm very discreet in this ... outfit.

\- You are gorgious, do you know that?

She froze for a fraction of a second, then her cheeks flushed.

\- You're not bad either, in your party outfit!

\- Parade armor, he corrected.

\- I thought I would never be able to come and talk to you, she breathed, leaning on the balcony, her back to the void.

\- They came for you.

She pulled on her dress, suddenly looking very uncomfortable.

\- Nice bracelet, Erend said, reaching for the golden object slipped on his arm.

\- King's gift ...

\- He has good taste.

\- When it comes to jewelry, yes. When it comes to clothes ... we can't really say that he made an effort to make me comfortable! She mocked.

\- Avad has a sure Carja taste. But that's not what I was thinking.

\- Oh yes ? And to what? She asked with the suddenly sparkling gaze.

_In terms of women too._

The music suddenly took on a wild rhythm and the guests launched into a frenzied dance. Erend rubbed his neck and reached out to her after hesitating for a moment.

\- You dance ?

Her eyes widened. Shaking her head energetically, she resumed.

\- Isn't the Captain supposed to watch this little party?

\- It's infiltration. Watching the enemy from within, under cover, he said, shrugging his shoulders without lowering his hand.

She smiled as she finally took his hand which he squeezed firmly. No way to let her back down.

\- Erend ... she said anxiously. I don't know how to dance, I never ... and then everyone will look at us!

\- Everyone's looking at you already, has always. Nothing will change, you just have to look at me.

Aloy's smile faded to suddenly give way to a face he couldn't read. She nodded softly, and he pulled her to the room next to the balcony. She didn't take her gaze away from Erend's once, even when he bowed, smiling at someone she didn't see.

Her heart was racing and she felt like she was about to pass out. Throat tight, she suddenly took a step back, but he held her hand firmly and slid his other hand behind her, blocking it.

Approaching her ear, he whispered "let me guide you". She felt his cheeks heat up, then she nodded again when he pulled away. She felt him loosen his hand behind her back and then ... everything started to spin.

She felt him guiding her, saw her eyes, but soon the world around her turned into a fog. At first oppressive, this fog quickly became pleasant, uncontrollable. Was that it, having fun? Indulge in trivial things she had never been able to explore?

She found herself smiling, laughing, and gradually leaving herself free to move around. In the whirlwind of the dancers, she had let go of Erend's hand and when the music finally shifted, she joined him, breathless.

\- By the goddess, Erend! It was ... I have no words.

\- Do I understand that you liked? He asked her, a huge smile on his face.

She gave him a kick in the shoulder, laughing, and they went back to dancing.

The party was progressing and a banquet was announced at the palace. Erend and Aloy parted ways to find their respective places. Erend was to Avad's left, a few seats away from him, surrounded by noble young women who politely introduced themselves and smiled at him. He answered politely but bitterly regretted not being placed closer to Aloy.

She was to Avad's immediate right. He waited until she was at his side to sit down and give the signal to the guests that they could do the same. Soon the servants began to serve.

Avad leaned slightly towards Aloy.

\- I am so happy today. Thanks to you, the city is safe, just like the world. We all owe you so much.

She nodded politely, and he continued.

\- I don't know what you went through to be who you are today, but I hope you can share it with me one day.

\- Avad, are we here to celebrate or to feel sorry for ourselves? She said raising an eyebrow.

\- Touché !

She smiled and took a bite of the dish in front of her.

\- If we are to be happy, then I am happy to have the most beautiful woman in the world next to me.

She swallowed askew and had to drink to catch her breath, under Avad's amused eyes.

\- Avad! Please, none of that!

\- What? Would you like me to lie?

\- No !

\- I'm glad these clothes fit you. It would have been a sacrilege if you didn't wear them. You are dazzling ! The Sun itself is eclipsed when you are there.

She was speechless at such an avalanche of compliments. She had never been aware before meeting the tribe, then all the others, of her power of seduction. It was still new to her, and a little incomprehensible.

\- I've planned a speech at dinner tonight, Avad warned her. I know you don't like it, but I have to. I thank you in this speech, as well as all the fighters.

\- Do I have to be next to you?

\- No, Avad smiles tenderly. But I'll be flattered if you are.

Avad straightened up and began to eat, leaving Aloy thoughtful. At one point he grabbed her hand and squeezed it, then let go. This gesture was meant to be gentle, and tender, but Aloy found his hand to be cold. She looked around for Erend.

***

After the banquet, the tables were removed and the space thus freed up was again invaded by people drinking, chatting, laughing. But Aloy's happy mood had subsided. This incessant hubbub suddenly gave her a headache and was more and more unbearable. 

Erend noticed her, alone, leaning against a pillar. He looked at her for a moment, then made a decision. 

He walked over to Avad. Avad waved his hand to ask him to be patient, then took leave of the nobles with whom he was having a conversation that seemed very uninspiring. He approached Erend and the two of them walked towards an alcove where they were finally alone. 

\- What is it ? Avad asked anxiously. 

\- I just did my round. 

\- And? 

\- Everything is going well. The soldiers and the men of the Vanguard did not notice anything unusual, nor the men of Marad. 

\- Erend! Exclaimed Avad. Seeing your face, I thought the Eclipse was attacking us. 

\- I came to ask you a favor. 

\- Speak. 

Erend took a breath. 

\- As everything is calm... I want to be off duty for the rest of the day. 

Avad sighed in relief. He smiles as he puts a hand on his friend's shoulder. 

\- Of course, you deserve some rest. But, that intrigues me. What will you do ? Everyone is celebrating the victory. 

\- Is it the king or the friend who is asking me questions? Erend asked raising an eyebrow. 

\- The friend. So my friend can trust me. And let me keep my secrets ... 

Avad silently questioned Erend, but he said nothing more. Disappointed, but intrigued, he nodded. 

\- Make the most of these few hours, I will miss you. 

\- Thanks Avad. Try to enjoy yourself too, don't let those crows ruin your day. 

They grabbed each other by the arm and squeezed, then released. Erend headed straight for the great hall, and found Aloy there where he had left her. He wasn't sure how he wanted to approach it, but he gave it a go. 

He approached her all smiles. 

\- You're bored ? 

\- You're not here to dance anymore, she quipped. 

\- Duty ... he sighed. But ! My job is done for today, so I was wondering what the hell I will doing. 

She frowned. 

\- Are you off duty on that special day? 

\- Do you really want to get out of here, yes or not? 

\- YES ! She exclaimed a little too loudly. 

He laughed of the frank laugh she loved so much. 

\- So follow me no questions asked. I'll show you a real party! 

\- Right now ? 

\- Do you have better things to do? 

She hesitated, gazing around the room and pausing for a moment on Avad. He had told her he would like her to be there tonight. The sun was starting to go down in the sky. If she left, there was little chance that she would return in time for the speech in her honor. 

Erend saw his jaw move side to side several times, and he found it adorable. Then he saw her raise her head, looking decided. 

\- Let's go. 

\- Wow! To us the crazy trip! 

She burst out laughing and followed him. Wherever they went, she would be with him. Protected, she thought. Then she frowned. _Protected? Why did this man she knew so little give her this feeling? And above all, why did she need him so much to feel good?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!   
> Let's just say that I love to put a tension between those two fools. I'm so excited to write the next chapter but I just fear that it will not be as good as I hope it. I really want the next chapter to be really romantic, but I don't see Erend or Aloy be easily inclined to declare. So... maybe it will take some time.  
> Again, feel free to comment, and thank for the kudos and the comments! Love you all!


	9. Chapter 9

Aloy's feast experiences were limited to the pre-Proving festival, and the palace feast. She had had the impression of a crescendo of emotions that overwhelmed her every time. First, the people. The world all around her, so loud, so ... overwhelming. Too much noise had gripped her when she entered the Mother's heart. Then, too many smells, heat, movement.

Little, she had never felt bored with Rost. Yet she had never realized before entering Mother's heart that her life had been so calm. Her status as an outcast and life in the wilderness had made her silent, discreet, observant. A ghost hunter. And, despite herself, she had learned to love the only thing she knew.

So it had been a test to mingle with strangers like this. And, always in spite of herself, she had continued to explore this social life over the course of her quests, her desire to discover her origins pushing her always further, to meet new people.

The apotheosis, it seemed to her at that moment, had been to have to settle down as a false Carja and endure the whole court around her during the party at the palace.

As they crossed the bridge leading into town, she stopped abruptly. The music and the hubbub that reached her was becoming almost deafening, and she felt her heart leap in her chest. Erend continued on for a few yards before realizing she wasn't following him.

He turned around, his huge smile still on his face, before losing it half a second later. She was frozen, suddenly smaller, packed. He saw an apprehension on her face bordering on panic. He remembered: paria.

He approached her and as he approached he began to jiggle to the rhythm of the music rising from the arches behind him. He noticed the dismayed looks of the guards on duty, but he didn't care: at that precise moment, all he cared about was distracting Aloy from her fears.

His maneuver was quickly crowned with success. She couldn't help but giggle at him and he felt encouraged. The more she laughed, the more he added.

\- By the Goddess Erend!

\- It's a typical Oseram dance. Well ... it's a warm-up dance.

\- Warm-up? She repeated, skeptically, smiling.

\- Let's say ... he said, lasciviously approaching her. If you follow me, you might be entitled to my special dance.

She raised an eyebrow, and he smirked again, stopped dancing as he readjusted his armor.

\- I assure you. It has earned me many compliments.

\- Just because I'll pay many shards to see you do it, I want to follow you, she smiles back, nudging him as she passes him.

He felt his heart leap and the butterflies tickle his stomach and he walked over to her in two strides. As he walked alongside her, crossing the last few yards to the city center, he turned and glanced at the guards who were trying to hold their position still. He saw them follow them with his eyes and he frowned, satisfied when he saw them hastily regain their position.

***

Definitely, she had just taken a new step in her social discoveries.

The party in Meridian was beyond anything she could have imagined. Paper lanterns lit up the whole town with their orange glow as the sun had just set, the pennants flapped in the light evening breeze. The coolness was just starting to spread through the streets as the stones still radiated all the stored heat.

A rhythmic symphony made men, women and even children dance. They all turned around, the bold men lifting their partners up and twirling the skirts and headdresses. The sweat which emanated from the heated bodies mingled with the smells of the perfumed oils which covered them, with the smells of Carja wine and Oseram beer which flowed freely, and with the candles which were extinguished.

After dancing with Erend, drinking mead and letting herself be swept away by the ambient joy, Aloy tasted the first complete pleasure of her life. She felt a warmth in her that she had never felt before, and finally felt free. She knew it was just the result of all the vibe - and the alcohol she was drinking for the first time - but she didn't even want to think about it. She felt good, and no one looked at her as something to worship anymore. All festival-goers, caught up in the whirlwind of the party, were equal under the Moon.

Still, in Erend's eyes, nothing could match Aloy, ever. And even less at this moment. He had gone to get two goblets, one of mead for Aloy and one of beer for him. She was standing at the edge of the dancers and he noticed the rhythmic sway that carried her hips. She was dancing, alone. He stopped and stared at her.

Her beauty was even more stunning than at the temple. Her cheeks were red with heat and alcohol; her slightly disheveled hair looked more like her. The sweat made her dress stick to her perfect curves, and he felt his cheeks get frankly hot.

Finally, it was she who turned, surprised not to see him return. She surprised him watching her three meters behind her. Her eyes widened and stared at him shamelessly. The lights reflected off the polished pieces of armor and showcased his massive body.

He finally approached, a shy smile on his lips.

\- You like what you see? He said handing her the cup.

Since she didn't seem to understand, he resumed, feeling bold.

\- You're staring at me, Aloy.

\- Not any more than you did, she replied, daring too.

\- I must remain attentive, professional deformation.

Aloy took the goblet and emptied it in one gulp, immediately setting it down on a barrel beside her.

\- Do you plan to change your excuse soon? Because this is the second time today that you use it, she provoked him.

\- Can you see another reason?

Yes, he felt particularly daring. He could feel the alcohol running through his veins, but he was not drunk. And he was starting to hope that the feelings he harbored for Aloy could be mutual. The looks they had exchanged and the movements of their bodies during the dances were equivocal.

But he also knew he could lose everything by pushing his luck too much. Aloy probably didn't know anything about the game he played so frequently. He didn't want to rush things.

However, he hadn't expected Aloy to be such a fast learner.

\- I see at least one, yes.

\- Ah yes ? He said, a carnivorous smile on his lips.

But as he expected to continue this little game for a few more minutes, Aloy suddenly looked away. He followed her gaze and saw Teb waving to her in the crowd, raising an arm to her. She rushed over to him and the crowd closed in on her.

He waited, arms hanging out, but she was now invisible. He suddenly felt alone and helpless. The adrenaline rushed back into his body, giving way to a cold and growing frustration.

***

Aloy and Teb were dancing together, laughing out loud at their disorderly movements. She could have sworn that Teb had never danced either, not even a Nora dance. To tell the truth, she could not have said if there were any, the only men and women she had seen "dance" before the Hatching only moved their bodies rhythmically and almost in place.

She could feel the sweat streaming down her forehead and down her back. She ends up being really too embarrassed by the long silk skirt of her dress and grasps the lengths with both hands to raise them up to mid-thigh. She didn't even notice the envious looks of the men around and the pits of jealousy of the women. She tasted the present moment.

After a while, happy but breathless, they walked away from the dancers towards the waterfront promenade. As he walked, Teb put his hand around Aloy's shoulders, which surprised her. She stiffened for a moment then let herself be guided. Hesitantly, she in turn put her arm around Teb's waist. He smiled at her and they continued walking, lounging around, enjoying the fresh, fragrant air, the croaking of the frogs and the reflection of the Moon in the lily pads.

They noticed a couple of lovers kissing each other before taking a light step, giggling with pleasure. Teb pointed at them and Aloy smiled at him.

\- So, you and Erend ... Teb said lip service.

\- I don't know, Aloy sighed.

\- What do you mean ? You are blind ?! Teb laughed.

She scowled and they parted ways to sit on a bench. She realized that she had mechanically grabbed one of her locks and wedged it behind her ear. Teb was staring at her, silent, and she felt compelled to speak.

\- I really don't know what to say. I ... I'm not made for this.

\- For _what_ ? Happiness, love?

\- This is really not the time. I'm going to leave. Again. I have ... so much to do Teb! She said, getting up abruptly. I can't. I'm not made to get attached to someone.

\- Everyone needs someone to share their life with, Aloy. A man, a woman if you prefer! I've heard that Vanasha praises your charms all over Meridian, he joked.

But seeing that she was still so tense, he continued.

\- Seriously, what I want to tell you is that you can't always be alone Aloy.

\- I spent 18 years alone ... she whispered.

\- Not alone, he corrected, you had Rost. And I always thought it was unfair, even inhuman, to keep you cut off from the tribe.

\- Rost ...

The thought of Rost made her definitively come down from the cloud that had carried her all day. She took a few steps, then came back to Teb.

\- Let's talk about it, Teb. Rost ... he came back for me during the Proving. He _died_ for me! Because I always attract misfortune, wherever I go! And there is no question ...

She paused, not daring to formulate the rest of her sentence. Teb sighed, stood up and came to take her hand. He noticed that her whole body was shaking.

\- You had Rost. He loved you like his daughter, and we are all grateful to him for raising you, for protecting you, until the last moment. He believed in you, he knew you were strong, but he also felt ... that you needed to be protected. I ... don't know if he knew everything you would accomplish. But you were - you are - too important to be on your own. You need someone, you will always need someone.

\- I do not know. But that has nothing to do with ... love, anyway.

He pulled back, looking for an answer, taken aback by what she had just said. She hesitates, but in front of his gaze, she continued.

\- I ... I think I'm starting to understand what it's like to love someone. But, it's ... how to say ...

\- Yes ?

\- It's being weak, she said finally. It's trusting, _blind trust_. Rost loved me. He threw himself into a trap without thinking, he trusted me, and he died. Someone once told me that to be good partners you don't have to trust each other. We must have common interests. And ... I think he's right, in a way.

\- Aloy, it's very sad what you're saying.

\- But it's the truth.

The alcohol was starting to flow back into her, or was it expressing itself? She seemed to see clearly, but tears came to her eyes without her being able to do anything.

\- I must continue my journey, alone. I know you have all helped me, and I am so grateful. But I don't want to risk anyone's life anymore. My fight, to me, alone.

\- You know you can share it with me, he whispered.

\- I know. But...

\- Aloy?

The voice made them turn their heads at the same time. Erend stood a few feet away, puzzled. He had left her cheerful and daring, he found her miserable and in tears.

She quickly wiped her tears with the back of her hand, and she tried to smile.

\- Erend! Sorry, I was going to come back, but Teb ...

She was counting on Teb to find an excuse that didn't come. Instead, he hugged her briefly.

\- See you again before you leave, I have your armor. I added a few changes to it, as you requested. See you later.

\- Thanks Teb, she sniffed into his shoulder.

He left her, and walking past Erend gave him a meaningful look.

\- Don't leave her ... he whispered as he left.

 _Count on me_.

He let him go, and when they were almost alone on the promenade he approached her. Like a wounded and fearful animal, he saw her tensing up, ready to run away. He stood right in front of her.

\- Talk to me.

\- I'm fine, Erend. I'm just still a little tired. The emotions of the day ...

He cut her off, annoyed, and lifted her chin harder than he wanted.

\- Damn it, Aloy! Stop your role of strong girl who does not need anyone! I am here for you, I can see that you are not doing well. Let me help you !

\- Help me ?! Whith what Erend? Can you change who I am, can you tell me it's not all about me?

\- No, but indeed not everything depends on you! If only you could let others help you, take care of you. Maybe then everything would not seem so heavy to carry!

\- Nobody ever wanted me, nobody ever accepted me! Except when I'm useful.Eightenn years to be a paria and then, tadaa! Anointed, because they needed me. So don't tell me you can help me!

She tried to pull away but he grabbed her arm. She pulled but he didn't let go.

\- Let go of me Erend!

\- Please listen to me, will you?

\- Did you mean Varl? Look at you Erend, she spat out of her.

He let go of her then. Flashes came back to him. Her mother, her cry, just before his father's fist fell on her. Her swollen face, the bruises on her arms, where he grabbed her in those moments.

\- I am sorry...

\- You're no better Erend! You all want something from me!

\- I ... it's true I want something ...

She suddenly calmed down, then left. She walked several tens of meters, and suddenly retraced her steps. She wanted to know. She had to know. She didn't care if Varl told her what he really wanted, but Erend was different. It wouldn't change a thing, no, she convinced herself.

Everything about her screamed at her to know. She had to hear it. She started to run. Would he still be there? She walked back down the steps almost skipping them, and he was still there, his arms tightly gripping the railing and gazing into the jungle in the distance.

He heard her arrive and turned to her.

\- Tell me ! she said, out of breath.

_I think I love you. I just wanna know that you love me too. I wish I could protect you, not chain you. Let you know that you will never be alone as long as I live, that you can trust me. Let you know that every minute I_ _spend with you makes me a better man._

The words got stuck in his throat. He swallows hard.

\- Coward, she whispered before leaving.

He didn't answer. He needed to drink. Drink to forget everything, again. No, he musn't. He could not do that, _again_. He collapsed onto the bench, his head between his legs. He couldn't say everything, not like that. That wasn't how he meant it, not when she was so angry, so scared.

He stayed like that for long minutes. He saw the Moon grow and then begin to descend into the sky. But dawn was still far away when, struggling against his urge to drink, he heard his name.

He raised his head. Teb was in front of him, his eyes hard. He apostrophized Erend.

\- What did you tell her?

\- Nothing ... I ...

He realized that Teb was angry, but mostly worried. He jumped up.

\- Why ? What's the matter ?

\- She's packing her things. She wants to leave this morning!

\- Already ?! But ... the scouts have not returned ... it's too dangerous!

\- She's not listening to me, Teb said sorry. She was so upset ... I thought you had a fight. I can't find Talanah.

\- She must be at the tavern, Erend muttered. Or with the pretty girl she told me about ...

\- What are we doing ?

Erend thought for a moment.

\- I'll go see her.

\- She won't let you in.

\- Who said I'm going to ask her permission? He said leaving with a quick and determined step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> Sorry for the delay, it was a bit hard to write these last days. It had some issues to write and in my personnal life I had a lot of things to care, so here I am, with this chapter I hope you liked to read.  
> I let you try to guess what will happen next ;-)  
> See you soon, thanks for the kudos and the comments, you are the best!


	10. Chapter 10

He pushed the door of the house so hard that a side slipped off its hinges and collapsed with a loud crash. He walked in without delay and found Aloy in the middle of the room, crouching in a fighting stance. He was dumbfounded for a moment and his gaze swept around quickly to note, relieved, that her bow and spear were a few feet away from her.

He raised his hands in a sign of appeasement and she stood up, gave him a glare and went back to preparing her bags. Erend watched her whirl around the room, from upstairs to downstairs, dragging two large bags with her.  
Her hair was now an inextricable maelstrom of braids and crazy locks. She was still wearing her dress but Erend heard her swear several times as she tripped over it on the stairs.

\- Aloy ... he tried, without success.

She continued to bustle about, not listening to him. Losing patience, he stood in her way as she had dropped her first bag at the foot of the stairs and was about to take it. She almost bumped into him and barely stopped, putting her hands on his chest.

She immediately removed them, taking a step back, as if it had burned her hands. Erend huffed softly between his teeth. At least he had managed to put an end to her hyperactivity.

\- Let me pass Erend!

\- Can you explain to me what's up with you?

\- As if you didn't know ... she huffed, giggling.

\- No ! I don't understand ! Damn it ! We were dancing, we ... in short, I'm leaving you all smiles, then I find you scared! Explain to me !

She kicked the bag but he didn't move. She glared at him but he didn't flinch either. She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them again he saw a fire that almost devoured him. Yet she seemed calmer, outside.

\- I want to get out of here, Erend. I can't stay. I realized that...

\- ...

\- That...

\- That ?

\- I have things to do.

\- And where are you going?

\- I am going to the West, to join Redsun.

Erend gave a wry little laugh that made her frown. She crossed her arms over her chest, her jaw tightening as she waited to see what was to come.

\- To summarize: we are in the middle of the night, your preparations are not finished. Avad, Talanah, Marad, not even me ... nobody knew you were leaving, and this is all very ... normal ?!

\- I'm not responding to anyone, Erend.

\- But you need to know the scout data, at least!

\- I have always done without “scouts” Erend. I can do it alone. I'll even go faster.

\- I have no doubt about it. But this decision seems to me more like ... an escape, he said, spreading his arms to point to the hurricane that had invaded the house for several minutes.

She said nothing, arms still crossed. However, her gaze was no longer on Erend. It was now fixed on the ground. He pulled him closer to her, placing his hands gently on her shoulders.

\- What are you running from, Aloy-despite-the-Noras?

Her gaze lifted up to Erend and she plunged them into the steel gray that seemed to read so well inside her. His eyes were soft and sharp at the same time, and she wondered how he could elicit those reactions that her mind and body seemed to be experiencing in spite of all reasoning. She felt irresistibly drawn to him, he gave her the feeling of being understood and protected; and at the same time, she wanted to flee as far as possible, this need to be with him scared her. She felt devoured, slowly but surely, by a fire that would soon consume her if she did not put an end to it.

\- I'm not running away, Erend.

\- You are.

\- Maybe ... I ...

She swallows hard. She felt him so close to her. Her body heat was radiating between them and she could have sworn that his hands were radiating over her shoulders. When she finally felt his breath on her face, its scent both metallic, leather and ale, she knew she wouldn't have the strength to leave. She lifted her chin, staring at his lips, which parted slightly.

Erend was no longer thinking normally. In his head, millions of thoughts rushed and it was impossible for him to fix on one of them. He could only see her rosy lips and golden eyes, the stains on her milk skin. He only felt the warmth that emanated from their two bodies and that pushed him to lean more and more towards her.

Time stretched out and they watched each other. Aloy saw Erend swallow and she lifted her head a little more towards him, and as she knew that in a second their lips would meet, she gasped. She closed her eyes. Something happened.

But it was not what she expected. She opened her eyes again.

Erend had pulled back slightly, eyes closed and frowning. She saw the image of suffering on his face. He took a step back, then dared to meet Aloy's gaze.

\- I am sorry. I can't.

\- What? She said, lost.

\- Not like that, I don't want it to be because I'm forcing you.

\- Erend, frankly, do I sound like someone who can be forced to do anything ?!

\- No ... he smiles. But, you are lost Aloy. And I'm rushing you, but I don't want to.   
  


She calmed down and looked at him again.

\- What do you want, Erend?

He was silent for a moment. He breathed in, breathed out. Then he made up his mind. He couldn't pretend nothing just happened.

\- I want you.

Her eyes widened, seeming not to understand.

\- But...

\- Damn ... I don't really know how to do that, Aloy! I've never had to ask myself so many questions.

\- Are you telling me that ?! I thought we had already talked about the fact that you are older and certainly more ... experienced than me. Anyway, she said with a shrug, in this area.

\- Certainly ... I would just like to make you understand.

He huffed in exasperation, moving from foot to foot trying to find a comfortable position.

\- I don't want to hold you back ... I want you to come to me. Damn it ! It's so hard to tell you. I'm happy to be your friend, and if that should break something between us, whether it's because I pushed you into your corner or because you think you have to stay here ... I won't get over it. .

She approached him, put a hand on his shoulder. Her head bowed, she seemed lost. He looked into hers, there was something else.

\- Why are you deciding for me Erend?

It hit him like a slap. Aloy had been drinking for the first time tonight, and he had perhaps increased the dose a little. She was genuinely lost. He recognized the light veil shining over her eyes.

\- We'll talk about that tomorrow, okay? He proposed. Stay ... tonight.

She seemed to come out of a trance and looked around. Suddenly, everything came back to her. Her bags were strewn about and she looked at herself, her dress still on her but dirty, she put her hand to her hair. He saw her slowly come to her senses, and she suddenly pouted that he didn't understand at first.

But as she rushed to a decorative vase to vomit into it, he immediately understood. Crouching down next to her, he gently lifted the hair that fell around her face as Aloy's body went through spasms that he unfortunately knew only too well.

He stayed with her even for the minutes when she lay still over the pot, feeling the spasms turn into tremors. He heard her sniffle and realized that she was crying, his heart breaking. How could a day that had started so well turn out like this? He immediately regretted having dragged her into this party.

He pulled her towards him and she let it go, snuggling her head against his chest. He stroked her hair and back relentlessly, shivering at the touch of her bare skin, until the flow of her tears died down.

\- It will be fine, I promise you, Aloy.

\- I'm afraid ... she finally articulated.

\- Tomorrow morning it will be better.

\- No, Erend, it won't get any better. I'm still scared. Of what this world is going to become, of where I belong… I don't even know who I am, she sniffed, getting up and wrapping her arms around her legs before placing her head on her knees.

\- For the world ... I don't know. But as far as your place is concerned, I told you one day ...

He took his head in his hands to meet her gaze.

\- … That you could start a new life here in Meridian. And I think it's possible, if you choose to. Before that ... maybe you could start by going to see where your mother lived. You were keen on it when you told me about it. Forget your duty to Meridian, Avad, the lodge! Find yourself Aloy. And if you decide to come back, I'll always be there.

\- Always ? She asked in a voice that indicated that she strongly doubted.

\- Always.

***

Later that night, Aloy woke up with a start and a sweat. She had slept a dreamless sleep, but the hot night and her intoxication had kept her in a shell of heat that was suddenly becoming unbearable.

She sat on the edge of her bed, unable to remember how she got there. On a table, brought back to the bed, she saw a goblet and a paper. She stood up, her head heavy, and read the quickly written glyphs.

_Drink, you'll thank me later!_   
_-Erend-_

She grabbed the goblet and quickly drained all the water, enjoying the coolness that descended inside her. Her head felt a little lighter already, and she smiled as she put the cup down.

***

Day was breaking and the sun pierced the desert horizon, adorning the sky with warm colors: pinks, purples and orange.

Erend put his bottle down next to him and closed his eyes for a moment to let the light brush his face. He loved that precise moment when the first rays hit the walls of Meridian, giving the city that particular color of fire. The sky was clear, the day would be beautiful.

He heard footsteps behind him and opened his eyes then turned his head. He opened his mouth, surprised. Avad was wrapped in a cloak, without any of his usual adornments. His cropped black curls were hidden under a cape and he had put on a traditional Carja outfit.

Avad sat down next to Erend, his feet in the void of the rampart, like him. He had brought two bottles of the Carja wine which Erend didn't like more than that, but he handed him one. The latter shook his head, pointing to the bottle of beer he was drinking.

Avad shrugged and put down the second bottle before opening the first and bringing it unceremoniously to his lips. The two men watched the dawn in silence before Avad decided to speak.

\- How was your day ?

\- To tell the truth, I had the impression of living two days. A good one, and a less good one.

Avad frowned.

\- I saw you both go.

\- I didn't hide, Erend replied, taking a sip again.

\- Marad told me you kept her from leaving, then.

Erend swallowed askance and spat out his mouthful. Wiping himself with the back of his hand, he turned to the king.

\- How does he know all this ???

\- It's his job, and he does it particularly well I must say, Avad replied, staring at the horizon.

\- Frankly, he doesn't have more important things to watch out for than… said Erend waving his hand.

\- Marad works in the best interests of the Sundom, and by extension, in my best interests. Aloy is of primary importance to us, to me. So I'm always on top of what's going on, at least when I can.

Erend groaned, and Avad continued.

\- If you hadn't stoped her, I would have sent someone to do it. To leave like this is ... incense, and dangerous, he finished, drinking in his turn.

\- She's still free, Avad.

Avad turned to Erend, an unreadable look on his face.

\- I had hoped she would be there last night by my side. Instead, I had to give a speech about her bravery and loyalty in front of a crowd wondering who I was talking about. I would have liked ... to present her to everyone.

\- Aloy doesn't like to be put forward. Although she deserves it!

\- She didn't go away on her own, Erend, Avad said bitterly.

\- What do you mean?

\- You made her leave the party, Erend. All this for what ? Get her drunk, torment her?

Avad's words were harsh, sharp now. The two men stared at each other now.

\- I didn't want to ... But, really, I don't even see why we're talking about this. It's none of your business what I do outside of my working hours, and that I know, Aloy is not yet one of your concubines!

Avad threw his bottle down the rampart and grabbed Erend by the collar. He didn't have time to react, surprised by the sudden attitude of his king and friend.

\- Never talk about her like that, Erend! I trusted you, I confided in you. I gave you time ... all this so that you ...

\- That I what, Avad?

He let go and Erend stood up quickly, flushed with anger.

\- I don't think she's the only one who drank too much, he spat.

\- No, think again. I blame you, Erend.

\- Is it the friend or the king speaking?

Avad stood up, cold as ice.

\- The king will speak to you now, Captain.

\- Be careful Avad. You remind me of Jiran.

\- It's low, but I will let go.

Avad started to leave but Erend called him.

\- And now what are you going to do, my king?

\- I will show Aloy why she will be the best queen all of the Sundom has ever seen, and how beneficial our union will be to all. And she will understand, I'm sure. Aloy is a blessing to this world, she always shared her talents with all who needed her. It's in her, and it's her destiny, he finished turning to Erend.

Erend chuckled, then pointed his finger at Avad.

\- Her destiny ? You never believed in fate, and neither did I. Your destiny was not to be king, Avad, it was we who brought you there. Destiny ! It suits you well.

\- Believe what you want. I put you on rest today. Take this time to find your senses and think.

\- To what? Are you afraid that she will choose me rather than you?

Avad didn't answer, and left Erend alone. Cursing, he threw the last bottle on the ground, and walked away opposite Avad.

***

The first bright rays were now hitting the orange rocks of the buildings. The sun was really rising, and the morning song could be heard rising from the temple. 

Erend was walking under an arch when she found him. Discreetly she motioned for him to follow her. Puzzled, and since he was ultimately not in office, he followed her. He watched the passers-by around him, most of them busy cleaning up yesterday's leftovers and others busy preparing for the day's festivities (which were not to start again until noon). 

They walked, him behind her, drugged by the intoxicating movement of her hips. She walked down to the river and they stopped at the water's edge. He stood back, not knowing what to expect from this meeting. Had she forgotten everything they had said to each other? He would have preferred, actually. 

She stretched, put her hands in the water and splashed her face. As he stood up, he observed how her hair sparkled in the glow of the morning sun. Finally ready to talk to him, she turned. 

-Thanks, Erend. 

\- Thank you ? 

\- For yesterday. For everything. I remember everything ... well almost, she smiles. I have sensations, flashes. I don't think I had ever celebrated  anything. And, I must say, it's good! 

He sighed in relief. 

\- But I also remember our discussion, Erend. At Olin's. 

He froze. 

\- I thought about it early this morning. I couldn't sleep anymore. And I understood. I don't know what I'm feeling, what I know, though ... 

He waited anxiously. She seemed to be searching for the words, then sighed. 

\- I am not ready. I can't give you what you want. I mean ... not now. 

\- Aloy ... I'm sorry. You know me, I speak, I say anything! I am only a buffoon, unable to align two coherent words when it is necessary to speak seriously ... 

\- No, Erend! You really have to stop seeing yourself like that. Because ... that's not how I see you. Let others see you. You are a good person, Erend. 

He smiled shyly, mechanically scratching the back of his neck. 

\- I meant what I said, Aloy. I can help you find who you are, if you need help. 

\- I think ... I'm going to go where my mom left. To find her. You're right, I have to do it. But, if I came here, it's because I wanted to ask you ... 

\- Yes, the answer is yes. 

She smiles fully, surprised. 

\- You don't even know what I'm going to ask you! 

\- For you, the answer will always be yes Aloy. 

She approached him slowly, resting her hands on his chest. 

\- Good to know, she said, enigmatic. 

He had suddenly forgotten how to breathe. She looked down, and he saw her bite her lip. Fire and spit, how he wanted this woman! 

\- I would like to know if you will wait for me, when I am gone. 

\- And you ask the question? He exclaimed. Aloy, of course! 

He grabs her shoulders. 

\- Ever since I saw you, that pretty girl in the middle of nowhere, it's like other women don't exist anymore! I'll wait for you, one day, one year, whatever. Until you decide what to do with ... us. 

She looked up at him. He always knew what to say. And that was exactly what she wanted to hear. So she didn't hesitate any longer. Yes, she didn't know what it was exactly, desire, love, deep friendship. There was something that connected her to him like no one in this world. 

She stood up on her tiptoes, grabbed his golden scarf. He understood a second before their lips sealed. She did not know how to kiss and at first, she only put her lips. Erend let go of her shoulders to grab her face, and quickly she felt his mouth part. Their tongues brushed then stroked, and she moaned softly under the effect of this unexpected caress. 

One of Erend's hands slid down her neck as the other went to find her back, pressing her against him. He deepened the kiss, going from a soft kiss to a passionate kiss. Aloy felt overwhelmed by an unfamiliar sensation, untouched by any experience. Her whole body was on fire and her head was spinning now. She could hardly breathe and yet she wanted to stay there, to feel his lips so soft on hers forever. Finally it was he who ended the kiss, resting his forehead on hers. 

\- Wow, he whispered.

She chuckled, smiling, a hint of shyness still present. 

\- Aloy, I ... 

\- Will you wait for me, Erend? 

\- How can you still doubt it?

***

When they walked up to Meridian and Olin's house to prepare, it seemed to him that the ground was made of cloud. Erend floated, intoxicated by a soft heat and an unexpected happiness.

She had kissed him, _Aloy had kissed him_. She had asked him to wait for her. Suddenly what had been pure fantasy became tangible. And it was the most beautiful of all his dreams. He pinched himself discreetly, after all, it was best to check that this was all real.

It was as they approached the last path leading to the house that he suddenly fell back to earth. Marad himself waited and bowed to Aloy and Erend.

\- Hello Aloy.

\- Hello ... Marad. A problem ?

\- No, Avad sent me to ask you to join him. We have heard from our scouts. He wants to let you know in person.

She frowned doubtfully.

\- Isn't that up to you normally?

\- I do not dispute the orders of my king, Aloy.

She raised an eyebrow now.

\- I have to get ready for the party _again_ , she said, emphasizing that last word.

\- Everything is ready at the palace, accordingly.

She glanced at Erend who was now red from neck to ear. Hesitantly, she agreed to follow Marad anyway.

\- Well, then I'll follow you.

She followed suit with the old man, visibly annoyed. But she turned as she left to look at Erend and smiled at him. Then she resumed her walk. Erend decided to calm down at home, washing up, and getting ready for the second day.

As he passed two Carja guards on patrol, he heard: "Dervhal should have been executed immediately, I was sure the Oserams were going to release him." His heart leaped in his chest. This shadow he had buried in his memory had just awakened, and with it, all the certainty of what he thought he was. Incompetent, stupid. Unworthy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, finally they KISSED! Well, she kissed him, and I like it ;-)  
> But, I can assure that Avad hasn't said his last word. And, he has great arguments. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy, thanks again for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> First fanfic in the HZD world.  
> Hope you'll be indulgent with me for this beginning, always happy to read your commentaries. It fuels my work!  
> Slow burn romance, so stay in touch.
> 
> Update every week, or sooner...


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